Musher50 inspired this question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Musher50 inspired this question
37
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 11:24am

Are you afraid of turning into your mother or grandmother or an older relative?


What would be the good things that you'd like to ressemble them in?


What the the things you don't want to be?




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Avatar for carpathia1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 8:28pm

Poppy, one of my greatest fears is that I'll turn into my mother. I'm 46 and when she was 46 she was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. Although she was given 6 months to live, she lived until she was 50. I try to take great care of myself physically and have regular check ups to make sure I stay in good health as long as possible.

I strive to have my mother's self esteem and the knowledge and confidence that she was "worth it". Her motto was to treat yourself well so that others would too.

I also fear her alcoholism and depression which pre-dated her cancer diagnosis. My childhood was not a happy one and I have tried very hard to give my children a happy childhood. I gained a lot of strength growing up having so much to deal with. I hope my children get strength without having to endure the difficulties. Is that possible?

Carolyn

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Carolyn Don't Count the Days Make the Days Count! By Sis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 9:16pm

Are you afraid of turning into your mother or grandmother or an older relative?


Not at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 3:22am

''I hope my children get strength without having to endure the difficulties. Is that possible?''


I don't see how but I sure hope it is possible.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 3:31am

Are you afraid of turning into your mother or grandmother or an older relative?
If I were a replica of my mother that would make me happy.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 1:54pm

((((((((((Carolyn))))))))))


I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother was so very young, too young. I am glad that you take good care of yourself and that you have regular check-ups. That is so important, and good health must never be taken for granted, ever.


I think that we gain our strength from many sources - from need, from experience, from example. Teaching children to their best each day, to enjoy each day as it comes, to recognize the lesson that has to be learned, to respect others, to be caring and giving, to be loving, to laugh and be able to laugh at themselves, to be independent, to not give up, etc



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 1:57pm

Your mother and your grandmother are both remarkable women, Ann!


And yes, your grandmother is certainly allowed to be stubborn at her age! LOL, I want to be allowed to be stubborn at my age ;-)




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 2:00pm

Yes, your mother sounds like a very wonderful woman, and she had the gift for seeing options and solution. That's so very precious!


I can see a lot of her in you :-)




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 2:14pm

Are you afraid of turning into your mother or grandmother or an older relative?
Yes and no. I don't know my grandmothers, but from what I know of them they were all strong, brave, bold, smart women. I know that I ressemble one grandmother for my love of nice things lol. As for my mother, she had so many good qualities. She is a special person. It wasn't always easy being her daughter as she has such a strong personality and she's so direct and blunt, but we've become friends.


What would be the good things that you'd like to ressemble them in?
My mother in her generosity, her tenacity and perseverance, her kindness. I'd like to have her business sense. Her wisdom. Her ability to ask very silly (and sometimes embarassing) questions. Her curiosity. Her love for travel. Her courage. Her intuition. Her exoticness and mystery.


What are the things you don't want to be?
I take care of my weight and my health because I have my mother's body. She's grown overweight in recent years and this has resulted in health problems. I'd like to be less overwhelming. She has a very strong personality, and it was difficult at times as a teenager to have her as a mother. I suppose we were both headstrong lol. Did I say were? We are headstrong! Strangers used to come up to me to tell me that I have such a cool mom and they wished their mothers were more like mine. I'd



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 3:46pm

Are you afraid of turning into your mother or grandmother or an older relative?


Yes, Poppy, I am and I already see signs of it.


What would be the good things that you'd like to ressemble them in?


Had I been a mom, I would have liked to be the kind of mom she was in my younger years.

Molly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 4:01pm

Hi...I just discovered this board.

Are you afraid of turning into your mother or grandmother or an older relative?

I'm doing everything in my power not to turn into my mother...LOL.

What would be the good things that you'd like to ressemble them in?

There ARE many things I admire about my mom that I have no problem assimilating such as her sense of humor, her creativity, her loving nature.

What the the things you don't want to be?

Mom never took care of her physical self so she's having health issues in her elder years. She's also a packrat which has caused some problems over the last few years as she and Dad attempt to downsize...she has a hard time separating STUFF from MEMORIES.

CC

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