Helping my empty nest mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Helping my empty nest mom
5
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 5:59pm
So I've been out of the house for a little while, but my little brother is off to the Naval Academy and my mom is left without any kids. She and my dad have a rocky relationship so I want to help her into this transition. I'm sending her a little care package once my brother officially leaves the house in two weeks. I have a good amount of stuff and some books, but if I could have any advice on little things I would really appreciate it, especially good books, things to get her motivated to start doing things for herself again and not for us, ideas for her personal time. Anything would be appreciated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 8:24pm

Hiya pilotchica and welcome to the board.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:31am

You are such a thoughtful daughter!


What are your mom's hobbies or interest? What do you think she'll enjoy? What resources does your mom have in the town where she lives? Is there a community gym? If you think she'd enjoy that, perhaps you could get her a membership or a pass for a few days? If she enjoys going to museums, you could get her a pass? Are there any summer festivals going on in your area that you think she'd enjoy?


What about including some CD's of her favourite music?


A short course in something? They are not necessarily expensive, either.




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 10:07am
Don't know if this appeals to you but my sister used to call my mom when she was having a cup of tea since there was noone she'd rather visit with at that time. That so stuck in my memory, I've never forgotten it.
How about a coupon for a massage or you and she do a spa day. Those are a bit big in the cost arena but may start her getting the idea of how to take care of herself and give herself "treats". Also, there are so many nice toiletries available now for bathing... scented bubblebath, skin scrubs, pumice stones and scented candles.
Maybe you could give her a journal and suggest she start a "New Beginnings" diary. I tried to think of my 50's and my son being away in college as the start of the second half of my life.. a new one. I tried to concentrate on developing that side of me I never thought I had, like artistic ventures. I joined a decorative artist (toll painting class) and got "learn to draw" books, etc. How about information on book clubs, if she likes to read. Quilting, knitting or crochet groups, if she's into that. Sometimes the finding the groups and locations is the hardest part so to have someone present it completed would be a real gift. Another idea, if you are near her is plan a weekly or monthly get together for a movie, lunch or dinner; just the two of you. Those are just a few ideas that popped into my head.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 12:30pm

Is she a senior citizen yet? Does she play cards...like bridge or pinnochle or something like that? If so, you could take her to the local senior center and get her involved with one of their groups.

Or maybe she could do some volunteer work at the local library? They're always looking for people to help out and it's a great way for her to meet new friends.

She's lucky to have you for a daughter!

CC

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 5:30am
Hi aurorajaade and welcome to the board, I am so glad you are here and hope to see lots of you.

Judy

cl-ivhjude