Accepting compliments

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Accepting compliments
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 3:08pm

The blushing icon is on because this is how many of us react when someone compliments us, or says nice (and true) things about us.

Why is it so difficult for us to accept a compliment, and to acknowledge that what is being said is true? Why do we feel that we have to shake our heads and

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 4:09pm

Poppy, I've chosen the magic dust, in part because as a graphic I like it so much, and because your question is opportune for me these days.

It's a coincidence, perhaps, but I saw my doctor today, too, and at one point he asked me how old I am (as though he didn't have it written down, so yes of course I told him!). When I said I am 51 he was speechless, and looked at me, and told me I don't seem to be that age.

I took it to mean not just that I *might* look younger than I am, which does and does not matter - but that I am assuming my time of life, and NOT trying to hide it - for all that is good about it, and for its drawbacks.

So I take it as a compliment, not for some preconceived idea about what a woman of my age should look like, but because in spite of everything, I am somehow conveying that I'm doing fine, and that I have more self-confidence in general. Which has been a hard won achievement for me. And as you know, living in France and accepting oneself physically is not a given, at any age.

The obstacle that I've overcome is being able to just accept it, and not say anything foolish like *the light must be good*, or tell him he needs his eyes checked!

Well done, Poppy, I understand how you must have felt - sometimes it is the small achievements that are most monumental.



p.s. and another achievement is to do a spell check and have the spell checker only pick out *Nenu* as needing correcting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 10:26pm
Wonderful question Poppy and I am as guilty as everyone else when being given a compliment to brush it off with a humorus comment but not always.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 12:21am

Sorry this is late. I've just gotten back from Singapore!

I think that accepting oneself physically is not a given anywhere in the world. This whole cult of youth has gone worldwide, and many people simply forget to accept themselves as they are as a whole and they simply concentrate on the exterior packaging. And some the other way around. Honestly, I think there needs to be a balance. Yes, inner beauty is very important, but looking as good as we feel inside, and accepting and highlighting the beautiful aspects of our physical self is also important.

Hoorah for being Nenu in all your aspects!!

Have you ever lived in the UK or the US? Your written English is very good. No one would have ever guess that you are not a native speaker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 12:31am

Hmm... now you've got me thinking about the compliments I dish out. The majority is sincere at some level. I'm going to have to monitor myself about this!