I've changed

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
I've changed
3
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 8:00pm

This past week, I've been thinking a lot about how my views on men and dating have changed over the past few years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2005
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 6:03am
I know exactly what you mean! I have noticed over the past year mainly that my views on men and dating are changing rapidly.. Everything seems so much harder now than it did and all the things i never thought were a problem now are.
I too have become far less compromising from time spent with guys who just aren't prepared to compromise back.
Is it quite simply that as we get older we are wanting different things from our relationships or is it that as we get older we come across more 'romantically damaged' people who are carrying along their baggage from one point to the next and handing a little bit of it over to us on the way!???
I used to live by the Love Conquers All rule but from past unresolvable issues I have grown up and pulled my head out of Hollywood world and realsised that it just isn't that simple.
We are so conditioned to believe that love is the the be all and end all from all of the romantic flicks that we get shoved down our highly impretionable young throats that we forget to be realistic! you don't have to be pessimistic but where are the films that make us aware that everyone is different and you can't get on with everyone! (accept it!) they just don't exist and there come a point where situations will shatter these firmly planted illusions... Well thats whats happened for me anyway.
I am far more synical than I used to be and i'm not entirely happy with this new and alien place I have found myself. I feel far stronger as a woman but far more dissilusioned as far as finding a man who is right for me and who will make me happy. I am surrounded on a daily basis by people in unhappy relationships that they are so scared to get out of because society seems to think when you get to a certain age you should be married off with kids or at least well on your way... I strongly disagree, I will keep going until i find someone who fits with me. If i have to be single forever then sobeit!
There are certain things that should NEVER be compromised and happiness is the biggest thing and sometimes love hurts and then thats when it won't conquer all, it'll just drive you crazy.. Get out.
It should be made clear to people that it is scary to be on your own sometimes but then surely it is even scarier to think that we're prepared to settle for something that makes us and someone else incredibly unhappy..
I could go on forever about this as it's bizarre to suddenly realise you have changed massively and for me it's not a gentle slope I've slid down, I jumped straight off the edge of a cliff all in the space of about a month and at the minute I'm just clinging on to a branch trying to decide whether to plunge into the dark unknown or accept fate like everyone else and climb back up and put my head back into the clouds of disillusion!! I'm wavering towards the unknown at the minute and just trying to do it as gently as I can
You only get one life, why waste it on wasters!!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 11:19am

I don't know that it's age, although it could be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2005
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 11:24am

Funny you should say that, I was just having the start again from an innocent age conversation with one of my mates! I see kids playing and think how nice it was to have no responsibilities and how little we are aware of how much to cherish these moments as a child!! I often want to say to my friends 7year old daughter that she should make the most of ever second but I know that she'd probably give me a strange look and wish she was my age anyway!

Why is it we always want something we can't have?!! such complex creatures