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| Tue, 08-09-2005 - 5:27pm |
Hello everyone!
My name is Nicole and I thought I would check this board out. I am single (obviously- or I wouldn't be here!) 25 years old, and I live with my two cats. I don't have a lot of family in the area and I moved a year ago to be closer to work, so a lot of my friends live far away. It is difficult to find someone to go out with.
I have been on several bad dates and I find that I enjoy my evening better if I stay at home with my cats and read Harry Potter. It feels a little pathetic sometimes......I think my mom has given up on me. I'm not unhappy, I just get lonely sometimes. A good friend of mine got married two weeks ago and I didn't have a date to her wedding. There was maybe one single guy there and I did not have any interest in him. I find myself to be doing a lot of things on my own now and I wonder if there is such a thing as too much independence.
I have tried the whole internet dating thing, been fixed up by friends/co-workers, etc, etc. Now one of my girlfriends wants to try 8 minute dating. I would rather let something happen naturally.
Well, I wanted to introduce myself and say "hello"! I'm heading home now to watch the news with my cat.
XXOO
Nicole

Welcome, Nicole!
Welcome Nicole,
From your post it seems as if I am pretty much in the same boat as yourself, although, I am a bit older(32). I vacillate when it comes to my status. Most times I find that I embrace my single hood as well as my independence but, I also have those days when I feel the urge to throw a little pity party for myself. We all have those days, I think. How could we not?
As far as being too independent, I do think that it can potentially pose problems. Only because women's roles have changed so much over the last few decades. We don't really have a need for a man in our lives. We may want one but, don't necessarily need one. I think the majority of men garnish a certain level of pride from being the mainstay in a relationship/family. I'm not speaking from experience as I have never had this discussion with any of my male friends, however, the topic has been heavily debated among my circle of girlfriends. I have some who have actually gone to the extreme of pretending to be inadequate in order to make a man feel as if he is needed.
Something else that, from personal experience, may pose a problem is just the simple fact of getting comfortable with living alone. I find that when I start seeing someone rather seriously I have to reacquaint myself with several basic rules of etiquette such as, compromising and sharing.
Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on. I believe each of these issues, with time and patience are remediable.
--I have not done the speed dating thing yet but, one of our regulars has and seemed to have a good outcome from the experience. Perhaps you can give it a try!
Edited 8/10/2005 11:16 am ET ET by bbw_26
Carla, I've had the same thoughts about compromise and sharing (if I can ever find a man to date again...today's my pity party day, btw).
I can so relate! My nieces are always spilling their drinks and, they think they must bring over absolutely every single toy that they own. I love them dearly but, my place is wrecked after they've visited!
One of the last guys I dated, used to try to stay at my place after I'd left for work, every time he spent the night. He was self employed so, his schedule was a lot more flexible. Anyway, each time, I'd have to ask him to leave. It put me in such an awkward position!? " Yes, I am a control freak. Deal. " ; )
Did you start back to school today? How's it goin'? (not meaning to hijack the OP)
Edited 8/10/2005 12:42 pm ET ET by bbw_26
Don't worry about hijacking! I'm happy to get some good advice here, so post on!
It is true that I also like my space a lot. My sister visited for a week and I was just not used to having someone else there. She was really getting on my nerves after the first 24 hours and I could not wait to have my apartment to myself again. I would be one of those girls who would have a hard time giving up her independence!
I might try the minute dating thing.....as long as my friend still goes. I don't think that would be something that I would try alone.
Thanks for the replies/advice!
XXOO
Nicole
I forgot about the drool stain my sis left on my new loveseat.
Heather
Hey Heather,
Well at least I am not the only new person! It is also nice to know that I am not the only single person out there. It feels that way sometimes.....
TTYL,
Nicole