Guy meeting your friends??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Guy meeting your friends??
7
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 4:58pm

I am just starting to see this guy and he is just getting out of a relationship (I know, I know), I have made it a point to let him initiate the contact and we talk/communicate almost everyday with his effort, we had a great date earlier this week and we both had a lot of fun. He has actually been very honest with me as well and was upfront about not being sure where this could go because of the recent breakup and it's obviously very early on so there shouldn't be strong expectations anyways.

Question, we talked about what both of us were doing this weekend and I mentioned my friend is coming in town from out of state, I am very excited to see her. He mentioned maybe meeting us out at some point and although part of me wants to see him, I almost want to keep him at arm's length until things seem to have some sort of direction especially since he's said things need to be casual right now. Plus, part of me wants to go out and just have a good time with my friend and flirt away with no worries, normally I would want him to meet my friends but since he's indicated wanting a certain level of casualness right now I thought it would be better to hold off.

If this does indeed come up (him definitely wanting to meet me out), what would be a nice way to say I just want a girl's weekend? I'm very interested in him but I don't want the "attachment" of him hanging out with my friends yet, he met some of them the night I met him but they haven't talked any great deal and I haven't met any of his yet. I think it's more just an issue of self-protection to me.

Thoughts?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 5:15pm

I think you're on the right track with not including him. If it comes up again, I'd just say something like, "oh, my friend and I haven't seen each other for a while so we really just wanted to keep it to just us girls".

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2005
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 6:38pm
Ok, so here is what you do. DONT INCLUDE HIM. This first of all, will not turn him off, this will just let him know (again) that while you are interested in him, you have WAY too much respect for yourself to leave any former life behind and pretend that you are one by meeting you close friend. I did the exact same thing, but I was dumb enough to let him meet my closest friends after only one month....big mistake! He not only broke up wit me a month later, but I was embarrassed to tell my closest friends about another failed relatioship. You need to give yourself the space to be without him and to let him know it takes more than cute words to let him get close to you and to those you love. Trust me, you will thank me later!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 7:11pm

Thanks to both of you for advice, seems like the right thing to do would be unavailable to him this weekend. Hopefully he will follow through and ask at least ;-)

As much as it would be cool to see him I don't want a guy to share the small amount of time I have with my friend this weekend that may not stick around. I'm trying to be smart about this one and not get attached either, I'm very attracted to him and we've had a good time but I don't want to be a fool either.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 7:19pm

I wouldn't let him infringe on girl's night no matter what.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 7:26pm
She is actually very cool with it, I've talked about him before and she wanted to meet him. It's just totally my call whether I decide to have him join us but I think it's best if I hold off on it for now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2005
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 10:58am
Good for you! Its easier said than done,but trust me, this way you can visiably see the "good" guys from the "bad" guys. Keep me up dated on how it goes. This weekend I am on my way to see my little sister who has been away at college! Yeah! we get to go boating!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Sat, 08-13-2005 - 11:28am
Hi,
I'm new to this board, and felt compelled to pop in and offer up my 2 cents.
Sounds like you've got this figured out and I agree will all that's been said here. Introducing a guy to your friends is a significant step in a relationship. IMO it takes about 6-8 weeks of regular dating just to get to know someone enough to even see if there's the potential for a relationship. In your case it sounds like there are some obstacles from the get go with his other relationship issues. So just go slow.
Good luck!
Chele
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