Dating someone who is not yet divorced
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Dating someone who is not yet divorced
| Fri, 08-12-2005 - 8:18am |
Is this a smart idea? I know divorces can take a while and sometimes when it's over it's over and the rest is just paperwork.
I ask because my cousin was boasting to me yesterday that she's been dating a Dr since May. I said, oh that's nice, is it serious? She just said, well he's not exactly divorced. I said, what?? Apparantly he has been seperated for almost 2 years now, his wife left him because she began cheating on him, but they havent even FILED yet. My cousin went onto say that she sees him once a week due to his busy schedule. I thought the situation seemed a little murky. I dont have a problem dating someone who IS divorced, but i would have a problem getting involved with someone whose paperwork wasnt even in the works

I'd have a problem with that too.
No, it's not a good idea. Even if it's "just paperwork", there are emotions that need to be worked through. I won't date someone who is just separated, and I prefer not to date anyone whose divorce hasn't been final for at least a year (but I am somewhat flexible on the latter depending on the circumstances).
Sheri
Girl, tell your cousin to run! Dating a divorced man with a living wife is hard enough, let alone one who isn't even legally divorced yet!! This is the type of ultimatum she should give: "Honey, I think we should cool things off for a while and not see each other until you resolve the unfinished business with your wife. I want to let you know I still love you, and I'll be here for you when things are resolved." That way she's not saying "do X or you'll never see me again," she's saying "when you do X you'll see me again," which is putting the positive spin on things and allowing him to proceede at his own pace. Good luck!
Hanna
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