Is Something Wrong with ME?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Is Something Wrong with ME?!?!?
1
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 1:08pm
Hi, I am new here and if anyone could give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated.
I am a single mother of two kids, I have been divorced for 4 years. I dated on and off but never really found what I was looking for.
About a year ago I fell in love with a friend I found myself trusting him and telling him things that NO ONE else EVER KNEW, but kept my feelings to myself as the friendship grew.
In February, things turned and we progressed forward and he admitted that he was in love with me, slowly we started merging our kids and our lives. We spend every waking hour together.
We only had one major issue his EX-WIFE with whom he was going to court with over the child custody. However she didn't and doesn't like me. She started making treats (if he was with me) (if he had his kids around me) towards him and slowly it started driving a wedge between us. We decided to slow down, until he had the court papers.
We still saw each other and talked on the phone at least 15 times a day.
At the end on May everything seemed to finally be over and we were laying in bed one night and he ask if we should move in together, get a house and start making "our" own family.
A week later I get a call saying I was HOLDING him back and that it was OVER! I was so hurt, I was mad that night and that was the last time we talked. This was out of the blue and now I am lost and confused.
A week later I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. I was excited and realized that this was something that was a part of "us". However on the weekend of Father's Day, I lost the baby. Since we haven’t talked I never told him.
Is something wrong with me? I am still in love with him. I don't know how now to pick up and move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:19am

dbluedragonfly...

First...Pianoguy is VERY SAD about the chain of events you've had to face this year. {Without making light of your situation, much of what you went through could probably be developed into an EXCELLENT romance novel?).

I realize all the time that 2 of you shared together became the "foundation" of your life. However, if you consider all the problems with the EX-WIFE....you NEVER really had the man exclusively! Also...once his divorce was finalized...there was no "male period of recovery!" ! So despite the fact that you slept together and talked up to 15 times per day, the man you were with had issues (inside his head) that needed to be resolved and deleted.

While your heart is probably hoping that this guy you're in love with will eventually change his mind....YOU NEED TO MOVE FORWARD! 2 Suggestions though:

1. Please don't judge all future relationships with men based on the sad one you just experienced. We're not ALL cads who will abandon a woman when things get a little too hot!

2. If you DO receive a phone call from "Mr. Coldfeet" concerning the possibility of renewing your relationship....ASK HIM TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF AND HIS INTENTIONS. He OWES you at least that!

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy