first date help please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
first date help please!!
4
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:30pm
Hi! I'm new here but I definitely need some help and I thought this would be the best place to come. Here's my problem- I'm a 20 year old college student but I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date for that matter. It's not like there haven't been guys that have tried, I'm just way too shy when it comes to being around boys and I think of excuses to not go out with them. My guy friends joke and tell me that I'm afraid of boys, but the bad thing is, they're right. For my own sake, I'm a decent looking, nice person, I just am so worried about having to go on a date with a guy. But now I've kind of been set up and I'm supposed to hang out on Friday with a guy I just met last night. He's really nice and I think any other girl would be thrilled to go out with him, I'm just nervous. I'd love to just make up a reason why I can't go with him, but know that I can't do that for the rest of my life. So, if anyone could give me some words of advice and wisdom, I'd really really appreciate. Thanks a lot!!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 7:46am

What exactly are you supposed to do with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 1:11pm

I can definitely relate to how you feel. I am 34 and rarely date because I am shy as well. What I have noticed that helps me is to go out just to do something fun in the day time like ride bikes, or go on a hike, or something you like to do. That way you can have a fun time just doing something and getting to know each other without feeling so much pressure of being on a "date".

I am also beginning to just accept that I am shy and it is okay, and hopefully whoever I go on a date with will accept me that way. What also is helpful is when your date is more confident and shows that he accepts you how you are, it helps you feel more relaxed.

good luck on your date!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 6:06pm
Thanks to both of you for your advice! I feel a lot better now and lot more comfortable. Now, I'm actually excited to go out with him! Thanks again...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 12:22am
Talk about him, talk about your surroundings, talk about things that you have in common like college, family, childhood, extracurricular activities, and THEN talk about yourself.