back to feeling rather lost! :p

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
back to feeling rather lost! :p
10
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:58am

That guy I was considering meeting face to face... well we talked on the phone for an hour an a half Friday night and it seemed like things went good. Do I think I'm in love… eh… probably not but I was still thinking I might meet him. At the end of the convo he said something like "alright I'll call you tomorrow with some lame excuse why I can't meet you" but we'd been joking around and being sarcastic through the whole convo so… I just took it as him being silly and figured I'd hear from him… but Sat. came and went and I did not hear from him. Sat. night was the only time during my weekend I could meet up with him - and he knew that and we'd tentatively set it up.

Now I have his phone number since he called me but I figure… the ball is in his court and HE should be the one to contact me, especially now. So… I didn't hear from him yesterday and there has been no email from him. But he HAS been on the computer because he's made some changes to his Yahoo profile. So…

Should I email him? Should I call him? Should I wait today out and see if he emails? Is he "just not that into me"? :p

STUPID MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:13am

I'm sorry to hear that he flaked on you. Whether you call him or not is up to you. It seems like you were willing to give him a chance, but that you were not completely bowled over by him. So, if you are not all that invested, the disappointment will pass quickly.

I have had things like this happen in the past and, even if I am not particularly interested in a guy, I find myself wanting to call him just to ask him what the hell happened and why he doesn't have the guts to just be honest with me. But - it's not worth the effort because a man who is too cowardly to just be honest with women is not going to have some kind of epiphany because I call him out on it and suddenly start treating other women with respect. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:24am

>Should I email him?

No

>Should I call him?

No

>Should I wait today out and see if he emails?

Yes.

>Is he "just not that into me"? :p

Probably. He WILL contact you if he is into you. Don't chase him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 2:31pm

"STUPID MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I have had things like this happen in the past and, even if I am not particularly interested in a guy, I find myself wanting to call him just to ask him what the hell happened..."

"Probably. He WILL contact you if he is into you. Don't chase him."

A couple of examples here as to why many men have become so cavalier, almost to the point of indifference when it comes to dating. We hear comments like "stupid men" almost on a daily basis. Then there are women who are so wrapped up in themselves and their own ego that they will even call a guy they are not interested in, just to find out why they did not call. That is about wanting power and control. Finally, women have been told by other women that they shouldn't chase a man. Why not? Because they think it is always the man's responsibility to put his self-esteem on the line. Women must wake up to the fact that men are to the point of exasperation when it comes to women. You always hear women say they deserve to be treated well. Maybe you should take your own advice and start respecting men for their good qualities...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 3:07pm

>Finally, women have been told by other women that
>they shouldn't chase a man.

You obviously didn't read my profile. I am a man telling a woman not to chase a man.

>Because they think it is always the man's responsibility
>to put his self-esteem on the line.

No. Because if I am interested in a woman I WILL GET BACK TO HER! they only need to chase me when I'm not interested in them and THEY JUST DON'T GET/ACCEPT IT. It's annoying! THAT is why I tell women not to chase men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 3:11pm

***Then there are women who are so wrapped up in themselves and their own ego that they will even call a guy they are not interested in, just to find out why they did not call. ***

Um - I never actually call a guy and ask him that and it has nothing to do with my ego. If someone acts in every way like they are interested and says that they are going to contact you and then they don't - it is natural to wonder why. I am not a man basher and never have been. It is perfectly within my right to wonder why a man flaked for no apparent reason. If I were friends with someone of the same sex and behaved that way, my reaction would be the same. It has nothing to do with wanting power and control and everything to do with wanting to be treated with respect and courtesy. If a man is not interested and is not going to call, that's fine. But have the b*lls to say that and not take the cowardly road out which is to behave as though you like someone and then to try and fade away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 3:30pm

>But have the b*lls to say that and not take the
>cowardly road out which is to behave as though
>you like someone and then to try and fade away.

I agree Jules. But both men and women do this and the fact is interested people DON'T fade away. If you need to chase, they aren't interested—It’s that simple. You can call them cowards, rude and disrespectful but you certainly can't call them interested!

I know people like to invent all types of possible reasons (some very elaborate and imaginative) as to why someone hasn’t called, like maybe s/he has fallen and can’t get up, or s/he has been abducted by aliens, but the most obvious one is always right—They just aren’t interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 3:47pm
Hal, I agree that women are just as bad at this as men are. I know that women on here have said that they give their phone number to men that they have no intention of going out with. That is pretty cowardly. It is more respectful and genuinely easier to just smile, be pleasant and decline in a gentle manner.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 7:02pm

I'm sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 10:06am

Lets!

It's okay he was just a scared dumb guy who was afraid of a woman who actually knows what she wants and doesn't play stupid little games! :) I'm better off without him! :)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 8:09pm

Oh! Oh!


...and needs a really big dog to compensate for his really little....


I better stop before the guys start flaming me! hehe