am i too superficial?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2003
am i too superficial?
2
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 8:28pm

i also posted this over on the online dating forum, but i wanted to hear what you all have to say...

man, i'm such a dork! i've been talking to a guy for 2 weeks (friend wanted to hook us up) and i met him for the first time last night. we NEVER run out of things to talk about, and we had a great time, but (here's the super superficial part) he wasn't as attractive as i expected him to be (from the pictures), and he wasn't a great dresser...i always seem to be the one who doesn't find anyone who isn't SUPER "abercrombie model" attractive, attractive. but this guy is really sweet, and we had a really good time, but i found myself disappointed that he wasn't as good looking as i like. he is an attractive guy to everyone who knows him, i just feel like such a jerk! i would love for me to get over myself and just enjoy being with someone i'm comfortable with and have good conversation with-without wondering if he's "cute enough" for me. anybody ever felt like that? or am i just a supreme bitch? *sigh* by the way, i have decided that to say "uh, well,i just want to be friends" after one night of meeting would be wrong, because it would be TOTALLY based on looks. like i said, we had a great time, and maybe i should give it a shot.... any thoughts? thanks for letting me vent...!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 9:43pm

If you are not attracted to someone, then dating them is pointless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 9:59am
I think your reaction is a very honest and natural feeling. Of course looks have way more importance in the beginning stages of relationships than we care to admit, but we can't deny the lack of appeal we automatically feel for someone. My advice is to not think of him as a future boyfriend, but just as a friend. Once the friendship is established, if there is romance potential there, it will naturally come...without question. Take it from me; my BF and I were friends for 6 plus years before we started dating. Like you, I wasn't initially attracted to him, but it grew to an insane level before we started dating. Give it time - there's no rush. :)