How do you know

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
How do you know
5
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 8:32am
ok so heres my situation.....
I got back together with my hightscholl sweet heart last May everything was perfect I was so in love so happy. I then found out I was pregnant at first things stayed the same but things got rocky and he ended up leaving me while I was 8 months pregnant.Like a week later i found out he was back with his ex. I was such an emotional wreck for like months. So finally i went out and I met someone, we started dating and hes a great guy. We've benn seeing each other for 3 months. The thing is I like him but i dont have that feeling that I had for my ex. Like I dont care if I dont talk to him or see him for a couple days. So my question is by now after 3 months do you think i should be feeling more for him. Im not sure if its just that im scared to fall again or if its really not there. im also scared that I will never feel that madly in love feeling for anyone else, because I think ill always love my ex. Im really confused if i should stick things out with the new guy and maybe my feelings will devolope or if there is none by now there wont be and move on. plaese give your input
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:13am

Tdenise~ First off, congradulations on your baby, that's wonderful :) Boy or girl?

On another note, I would think after three months your feelings would be more developed for your new boyfriend. You would want to talk to him everyday, and see him when the time was sounds. Three months is a good amount of time. Have you discussed your feelings with him? That may be a great deal of help.

As for you thinking you are not over your ex, that is very possible. Honestly, you may never be fully over him, but you will be able to go on without him. Trust me, I've been there. He obviously does not want anything to do with your or the child you two made together, so toss him, he isn't worth your time. I am sure you are thinking *that is easier said than done* and you would be right. But, like I said, you can do it.

Best of luck :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:30am

Hi tdenise99,

>Im not sure if its just that im scared to fall
>again or if its really not there

IMHO: Love is not something that can be controlled. If it was possible you would transfer it from your ex to this new man, but you can't. It's not because you are scared but instead because it's simply not there and probably never will be. This isn't to say you won't fall in love again or that you won't get over your ex, it just means it won't be happening with this man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 12:37pm
Thanks for your input. i guess In reality its not there and i was trying to force things. The thning is I realy was only single for like 2 months so i think maybe i just have to alone and see how that goes and when the right one comes ill know. I guess there is no rush and I will just see what else is out there. BTW I had a girl...Lilly jade!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 4:30pm

What a pretty name, Lilly Jade. Aww :)

I think taking time to be alone for a while would be a good idea. You will get to know yourself, what you want, who you want, ect. Again, best of luck.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 7:47pm

I completely agree.