DOWN AND OUT.....................

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
DOWN AND OUT.....................
5
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 5:00am

Hie everybody,
Thank God for the message boards and the people here, coz i need someone who can hear me, i need to vent.

Here is my story, i just got dumped and i am lost, do not know wot to do.
to cut the long story short, i have been dating this guy for the past 8 months and in the first months things were alright and all, then we started to really not see eye to eye on different issues and about 2 months ago i suggested we part ways coz i felt our differences were mainly due to personality differences and not necessarily that he was a bad guy.
So he did the pleading thing and after like a month, we talked about it and decided we want to try over. by the way we live like 300km from each other, and get to see each other every other second week.
Then this weekend he came to my town for work and is to stay for a week. And then on friday we got to hang out and then it was alright. however on the following day, i could not be reached by phone and this guy got so pissed of and everything, and he wants out because apparently he thinks he cant do the relationship anymore and he has no will.
So it took him a missed call to realise this?
Anybody and probably if there are any guys on the board, helpe out think this through.
Obviously am so down with this, cause i loved him and i expecte things to work this time around.
When a guy pulls something like this, wot exactly is he trying to communicate that he really isnt saying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 8:05am

styls81...

One sentence from Pianoguy:

"YOUR (FORMER) B/F DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE REALLY WANTS!"

Unfortunately, you are included in that equation. So instead of trying to figure out HIS INSECURITIES....seek out a man who is more reliable and can reassure you that "YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE FOR HIM!"

More than a few of us are still around.....:)

Pianoguy

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 7:19pm

Clarify something for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 7:19pm

Seems to me he no longer wants to be with you, and was looking for a way out. He found one, however lame it was. His loss.

Try and keep your chin up. I know it's hard during these times, but you will make it through, trust me. :) Try and find something to do to take your mind off of the situation, occupy yourself as best you can.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 6:52am

as at the time i was writting that, yeah, wanted him like mad.

But somethings have happened since, itried following up to find out exactly why he did this and its because he says i was cold and seemed not excited. Wotever that means, coz he didnt even bother to find out if anything was up.

Now am in between, i have e mailed asking him back, but i think if he is bent on not wanting this to work out, i cant really force him and all. i have to let him go.

But it hurts anyway, i loved him and was willing to make it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 9:00am
I'm glad you've realized that you need to let him go. It may be hard but it really is his loss and there is some liberation in knowing that you won't let him treat you that way. I wouldn't email/call/whatever at all to ask him back (or for any other reason)... if he was waiting for a reason to break it off rather than just being honest, do you really want him anyway? Hold out for someone that respects you enough to be honest.