Changing trend in male courtship
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Changing trend in male courtship
| Fri, 09-09-2005 - 2:56pm |
Less men are pursuing women today than 20 years ago. I couldn't give you one reason as to why. My best guess is the rising divorce rates and the changing roles of men and women in the workforce and at home. Men have become much more self-protective when it comes to dating, much in the way women have always been. As gender roles change in society, they also change in the dating world. Many men don't think they should pay for first dates as much as they used to because women have the same earning power today. Men are also tired of getting shot down. This has affected the confidence of many a man, and I think you now see less men willing to put their ego on the line. Finally, although this may be more controversial, I think men are somewhat afraid of long-term relationships with women in general. We've heard too many marriage/relationship horror stories of women who try to change men, or refuse to let them go out with their friends, or spend too much money, or verbally abuse them, etc. This has lead to a feeling of futility in the collective consciousnesses of men in America towards women. Before I get screamed at and flamed, just think of the number of times you've heard women say "men are pigs" or "I give up on men", etc. Well, men have started to feel like that as well. As for a solution, I think women have to be more accepting of men and their flaws, quit looking for Prince Charming because he does not exist, let men be men (i.e. hang out with their friends), and go see the play "Defending the Caveman"...

mandel17_99:
It's just PG's 2 cents, but perhaps there's less asking (from a male) because the reaction we recieve can be anything from a "if you keep stalking me, I'll call a cop" to a "cold non-remark!"
There are also women who automatically ASSUME that most men will offer an invitation for a date as an excuse to 'get them into the bedroom!' Not necessarily true, but it only takes ONE BAD APPLE to "spoil the bunch!"
Many men AREN'T afraid of "long-term relationships", but maybe the thing that REALLY SCARES US MOST---is a woman's desire (and hurry) for exclusivity?
Honestly....how can some women assume that we're MR. RIGHT after only a few dates or social engagements? Being in your company might be wonderful, but this DOESN'T mean we want it for AN ENTIRE LIFETIME? Acquiring trust requires time!
Sending out 'engraved wedding invitiations' to a large guest list of family and friends might please a lady, but it scares the hell out of a lot of men!
Pianoguy
What pony guy said,,, lol...
Myself,
I am actively looking for a long term partner.
I ask few woman out for various reasons.
Some of which are:
I have a nice home set up. Most ladies seem more interested in what I have and not who I am or what I want. The woman that seem to be the quality I am looking for are already established and not looking for a mate.
Plus the whole idea of spending money and time to get to know a woman just to find out she is or was looking for a meal ticket turns me off.
I have learned the more I try the worse it gets... So I have stopped trying.
I like a few of the comments you made... "men are pigs" lol... I can not remember the last time I rolled in mud or ate off the ground... "Men are cavemen" is even better. I can not imagine living in a cave without my big screen, Jacuzzi and pool let along a washer, dryer, stove and refrigerator. lol...
The entire subject brings many things to mind but I will leave off here and see where it goes... :-)
I am proud of for not giving up on us!
I am in the reverse situation. LOL...
I am having a hard time finding a decent woman to commit.
The woman I have met don't mind the sex, but they want the guy to buy every under the sun! Which I don't mind as long as it is something I want to do. I met a woman from Chicago over the internet, after a while we decided we wanted to meet so I offered to fly her down. I paid for the first few flights which was fine. I think it was the third trip we were talking and she said tiffanies was having a sale and she had her eye on the necklace. After a few hours of talking it hit me she wanted me to buy the neck lass for her? I said, I just spent $500 to fly you down here and paid for the everything else. She was stunned, speechless that I would not buy it for her. She said no one has ever told her no before. Maybe I set myself up for it, but she was putting herself thru college and had little extra money. This is just one example. I was married for 16 months beginning to end one time. She was just after money as well... I bought her everything her little hart desire red. all new furniture, house, top appliances, dinning room set etc... I came home from work one day and everything except my cloths bad bed were gone.
So like you I am trying not to turn bitter. It is a hard road at times but I do it...
And sadly, yes; you can go through your whole life without meeting Mr (or Mrs I guess but I am talking from a woman's perspective) Right or, when you do, being much too old to have kids. I don't believe in this rubbish that there is someone for everyone. There are plenty of single women who have never been married or had a significant relationship around and yes, they are also catches.