How do I get over him?
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| Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:08pm |
I am in love with my best friend (who is a guy, just so we are clear). I have been on and off for him over the last ten years. We became friends after dating a short time and deciding it wouldn't work because of some outside factors. Aka his sister and I were friends and she didn't like the idea of us dating. Anyways I still loved him for a couple of years after that. At one point I told him how I felt and he said he was flattered but he just didn't feel that way anymore. We both have been seeing other people over the years, who I admit to comparing all my guys to him. I know he does not do that same with the girls he dates. I have not seen him in over a year but we talk regularly. He just got back last month from traveling Europe for several months. And while he was away he still managed to call me to let me know he was okay and having a good time and that he missed me. And I appreciated and looked forward to all of those calls.
I always think that I am over him and think that if he did want to get involved would I even be that interested. But then he calls or he sends an email and a complete sense of Euphoria comes over me and just hearing from him makes me day that much better. And as terrible and childish as this sounds (but I don't care because no one knows who I am.), I can't help but say I love you to myself when I have hung up the phone from him or finished an email or letter. As if to think one day I will actually be able to say it to him.
I guess what I am looking for is how to get over him. What do I do to make myself feel a little less in love with him and a little more platonic love for him. Anybody's words of wisdom on this issue would be greatly appreciated.

kheta13...
3 Words from Pianoguy: "RETRAIN YOUR BRAIN!"
That's the way to get over ANYBODY!
If there was anything more than a platonic friendship between the two of you, dating others wouldn't be an option. The two of you would be living in the same country and rearing at least a couple of "rugrats!"
A fantasy can't go on indefinitely.....no matter how badly you'd like it to!
Pianoguy
I hate to agree with everyone else. I have been in the same place you are, and there is no other way than to move on. I was deeply in love with a guy, and he backed off. Then he moved another woman in with him, but still kept in contact with me. I would cry when I saw him on the highway or around town. It wasn't until I completely left him alone and asked him to do the same that I was able to start to move on. And you want to know what happened? When I started to move on and wasn't there at his beck and call, he realized that maybe he did want to see me. I am not saying that is going to happen for you, but there is really no good way to get over him, but cut all ties with him.
I believe in fate. If it is meant to be for the two of you, you will find each other again. Otherwise, you may be making it hard for the one you are supposed to be with to find you, cuz you aren't putting yourself (your real self) out there.
I hope things get better for you. I know it seems very heartless to tell you this, but there is no easy way to get over someone.
Lora