what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
what to do?
9
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 9:18am

Recently I went to a friends party.
meet someone and decided okay I'll have
him as my "friends with benefit"
I don't have any emotions with him.. and don't
think I will because he has "kids". That's
a big no... no... no.. for me...

I mean should I just enjoy it while it last?
or just call it quits? I mean that's all we do
and something you can get bored after a while?

When we try to meet for other things... sometimes things come up..
and I don't really want to tell my friends I have been with him...
and when I do see him, why does he always ask about my ex.

He talks more about him then I do? I told him that too...

I don't know what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 10:23am

you need to get out of that... whether you realize it or not you are making yourself emotionally and physically unavailable for something good and healthy.

JMHO :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 10:53am
Is sex THAT important to you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 12:39pm
but what if I'm not ready for a real relationship?
I was with my ex for 9yrs of my youth.. and I don't
have time to cuddle and date.. I want to focus on
my career and my school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 12:41pm
no it's not but when you are not ready for a real relationship
that comes next.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 1:32pm

>but what if I'm not ready for a real relationship?

That's fine as long as you understand that “friends with benefits” is a myth. It is a relationship regardless of what you think/say/hear/believe it is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 3:02pm

we do understand...
we both talked about it..
I make things clear before I do what I do?
and I know sometimes people have mix emotions...

That's why I love communications to that person I am involved with...

"communication is the main," thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 3:39pm

so if you've already decided you are okay with what you're doing and want to do it... what are you asking advice about!?!?!?

You don't seem open to outside opinion so... Yeah... have sex! Groovy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 3:47pm

***It is a relationship regardless of what you think/say/hear/believe it is.***

I agree with this. I have had my share of unconventional relationships with the men in my life, but they were still relationships. I may not have wanted to be serious about them romantically but you can't be intimate with someone on a repeated basis and also spend time with them and say that you don't have a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
In reply to: jackrain
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 4:16pm
I am open to ideas...
I just don't like judgements...
I wanted to know...
is it wrong to do this?
I don't want the attachment, I want to still live my
single life... just for now...
I know that when I'm ready I'll settle down...
but for now.... I just feel this is fine for the moment...
so why is that wrong?