Internet Dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Internet Dating
45
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 9:51am
I (finally) decided to make a serious attempt at Internet dating. I've sent my first message already! Women, what would compel you to reply to a message that a man has sent you? Would he need to be excessively handsome and unbelievably charming? If so, I have a fair chance at achieving success!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 11:49am
Ok, I don't really think I am excessively handsome and unbelievably charming, but I was seeking genuine input. It seems rather depressing on this board today so I was hoping for a light-hearted thread. I hope everyone feels better soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 12:02pm
A light-hearted thread would probably be a good idea... but I dont think any one wants to think about dating right now! LOL Least of all with charming men...
Maybe we need to find another topic to talk about...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 1:39pm

Hal,

I haven't done this in awhile but I can tell you what I remember. I would not respond if the message that I got sounded like the same generic one that a man sent to any woman he contacted. I was much more likely to respond to an email from a man who mentioned something specific from my profile that we have in common (i.e. I see that you don't want to have children and I am in the same boat). A sense of humor is great, too. If a man could make me laugh in his introductory email, I was definitely intrigued.

Good luck with it.

Jules

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 2:13pm

Actually someone who is "excessively handsome" would be unlikely to catch my interest...I'd assume he was shallow. Unfair, I know but that would be my first thought.

When I get an email from someone, I check out their profile and look at his picture to see if he's my type at all. My "type" is fairly broad, but, for example, facial hair is a turn off to me so I probably won't respond if he has any. But of course, that's going to be different for each woman. I'll look at how well we match up on age, smoking and drinking habits, kids, etc. Then I'll read the profile and see if he has at least basic spelling and grammar skills, and whether we have some common interests and/or values.

If everything checks out, then I'll respond. If not, then I won't.

You might want to come on over to the Online Dating board as well...there's a lot of collective wisdom about the whole process over there (not that there isn't here as well!).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 2:41pm

Thanks Jules. I was a non-subscribing member and sent a free icebreaker to a woman. I think she is nice and our profiles are quite similar so I joined in order to send her a proper e-mail and I told her that. I only wrote a few sentences and made a sort of joke, (not completely hilarious because I don't want her swooning just yet.)

I am under the impression that a short e-mail is better to start with. I imagine a woman would check my profile to see if she is interested before committing too much time to reading a lengthy e-mail that bores her to tears. If she likes what she see's then I suppose she would respond.

Is this a false impression?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 2:45pm

Short is good, I think. Anyone who sends me a bible-lenght email elicits a groan. Just let me know that you are interested, peak MY interest, and let me check you out. I think you played it just right.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 2:48pm

Hi Sheri,

>facial hair is a turn off to me so I probably
>won't respond if he has any.

Luckily I shaved before taking the photo I submitted...I wouldn’t want to miss out ;-)

>You might want to come on over
>to the Online Dating board

I might do that.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 2:52pm

Yes, short is better, but do comment about something specific in her profile that made you want to write to her (and NOT that you liked her photo ;-)...or at least, not ONLY that).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 3:48pm

Yes, and don't ask her, "So...tell me about yourself."

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: hal_9000
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 7:10pm

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