Not to be depressing or anything...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Not to be depressing or anything...
21
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 11:44pm

I was just sitting here, thinking that I really should be in bed with the lights off by now and realized...NO ONE else is here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 8:40am

I am with you! I had the same realization last night. I am ready for it to be my time! I see everyone else married, dating, or having children and I wonder what's wrong with me......I have a great job I love, a house I bought myself and I am attractive. I feel that I am meant to be a significant other to someone, and one day a mom, and it's so discouraging being alone every night.

Anyways, that's my little vent.....hope you're feeling better today :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 8:57am

Aw, honey, I know how you feel. It is really starting to feel like fall here in Chicago and the heat is not yet on in my building so it gets cold at night. I pulled out my down comforter last night and then realized that, were there a man in my bed with me, I'd be plenty warm without it.

We all have those moments. Not having them is unnatural and probably a symptom if denial. The online thing is pretty tired for me too and I have given up on it. I know that this won't help, but if I were a man I would be super excited to date you. From what I have gathered on this board and the website, you are smart, funny, insightful, practical, and attractive. There is someone out there for you. You are smart enough to wait for him. That empty bed would be even more depressing after a divorce, so you are making the right decision.

Jules

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:44am
I know how you feel 'j' was comming over but i'm trying this whole 'if you care about something let it go...' thing. I too want someone to hold me @ night and tell me they care, & listen about my day. Once n a while i get lucky and my 2yr old daughter will crawl into bed w/ me; but thats as close as i can get. I had that same realization the other night and i've been depressed ever since, & 'J' not calling dont help either!! Well I hope things look up for you!! Don't let it get you down like it has me!!
Good Luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:56pm
I know how you feel. I even tryed the internet thing too but it was mostly guys trying to get laid and thats it. Its sickening when you see couples walking through the mall and ur lonely
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 10:22pm

Thanks, Jules.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:32pm

I know how you feel. There are times I wish I had someone in bed with me especially now that fall is here. Sometimes I get so lonely.

There are times I would love to find the right man, get married and have a family. I know I would make a good mom, but I'm 41 and the clock is ticking and getting louder every month. I would love to have one child before my clock stops, but it looks like it will not happen. I have look into adoption 10 years ago, but I can't afford to raise a child by myself.

Some married women think I have it easy because I'm not married. But sometime it's really lonely to come home from work to an empty apartment and there is no one to tell him about my day, or listen to me when I'm upset and hold me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 8:56am

Taking your profile off the meet market is probably a good thing. It can be draining to try to deal with the whole thing.

I have actually been making a concerted effort to be less busy lately. I am involved in a bunch of different groups and tend to over extend myself. Plus, my mom sat me down this weekend to talk about my partying. After thinking it over, I realized that she is right. I drink too much and party too hard. Which is fine for awhile but I have been growing tired of it lately and her concern gave me the push that I needed to take a breath and relax and devote some energy to pursuing my hobbies instead of spending all of my time in lounges. I think that she was a little surprised that I didn't immediately get defensive because I have when she has tried to talk with me about this in the past. The reason that I usually balk at any discussion with her is that 3 of her 4 siblings are alcoholics so she tends to overreact. But, when I conceded that I might be drinking a little bit too much, she admitted that she does not think that I have a problem but just that she worries. It was nice to speak frankly with her.

Work has eased up a bit for me in the past couple of months, too, which has helped. And, since Congress did not pass our appropriations bill yet and the President asked federal employees to suspend non-essential travel to help with fuel conservation, it looks like my travel reprieve may be in effect for awhile. Hallelujah!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 11:57am
I think the hardest part is the loneliness. When I am at work, or out with friends I look as though everything is OK. Then I come home to the empty house, make dinner for 1, and go to bed alone. I know SOME alone time is good, but it's the constant aloneness that makes it so hard. And I do know there is someone out there for all of us, I am just impatient and wish it would happen soon :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 6:23pm
I too have this feeling. Everynight I m out with a different group of friends. I m never by myself until I started doing some night shifts from home so I find me at midnight sitting with my laptop on chatting with my team overseas for hours. I just wish sometimes at the other end of the couch a boyfriend is watching TV and making some noise in my super quiet apartment. I have a beautiful large apartment which I spent months to make it look, smell and sound the way I want and yet it is all mine. I dont miss being with people kuz I m 14/24 hours surrounded by people. I just wish I m with my special one when I m home... I guess then my evenings out will be less and less frequent. I miss taking someone with me to the Happy Hours at work or our Halloween party or Xmas dinner! I miss feeling part of a team: a team of just two people!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 7:22pm

I feel everyone's exact same sentiments. I also have a great apartment all to myself, a thriving career, grad school and friends. But at the end of the day, when I am tucking myself into bed, I feel the loneliness. Late at night when I want to cuddle up to a warm body, there is just me. When I come home and want to share the trials and tribulations of my day, there is just me and when I wake up on a sunny, beautiful Sunday morning ready to prepare a great breakfast in bed, it is just me.

I can't wait for the days when I will have someone to share these small, but precious moments with.

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