Im getting tired of being alone

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Im getting tired of being alone
21
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 6:07pm

Im 34 yrs old never ever dated in my life and also never ever had a boyfriend. I think Im a friendly, easy going, laid back girl, people have told me and also people have told me Im a very good looking girl and they get surprise how come I don’t have a guy in my life or at least dating someone or how come I have never had a boyfriend before, if Im a nice girl. It is not that I want to get marry now, Im not thinking in marriage anytime soon, but what Im getting tired of is of not be able to date someone I can go out with, dance, movies, shopping, or even go to a mall. I envy of those couples I see on malls, movies, they hang out together, and etc is nice to have a guy that you both feel comfortable with or experience at least what it is like to have a boyfriend, that is what I want and that has never ever happened to me before and at my age, I think it is more difficult to find single guys.
I mean I don’t even have a circle of male friends to hang out with, I don’t have male friends. The guys I have met in my life are guys from workplaces, but that is it. I haven’t met guys in other places. Those guys from workplaces were just coworkers, I mean I never find any attractive guy or interesting guy that I might be interested at in any workplace I have worked before but the coworkers never pay attention to me either. I mean single guys available. At my age many guys are married, divorced or divorced with children. And the guys that tell me im a attractive interested woman are married, so no way Jose!! Few ones are single and available

I mean it seems guys are not interested enough in me to ask me out. Let me be clear, men are not interested enough to ask me out and get to know me for my inside, what they want for me is to get laid, some directly and very forward have told me that, because Im very attractive lady. The ones that have told me that are guys I met over chat rooms after 3 or 4 messages, they want us to meet but for those reasons, so even thought I have met guys online on chat rooms, they want me for other things and Im not into that mostly to a complete stranger. So if im not asked out how I can date a guy. That has never happened. I don’t want to grow old and never experience at least what it is like to have a boyfriend for the most of it.

Even if I don’t get married ever at least I want to date someone in my 34 yrs old of age that has never ever happened. So why if Im so likable, according to people I have met or known that has never ever happened. I have never made out with a guy before, ever. Im still a virgin. I mean I don’t want to find a boyfriend to sleep with him, that is not my intention and I wont sleep with anyone either, my interest here is I would like to experience what it feels to date a guy and Im already 34 yrs and never experienced that. What is wrong with me? Like I said Im not getting married anytime soon, just to experience what is like to date.

I think im rare specie. I don’t believe there are other ladies just like me in this world.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 7:34pm

Where do you live (I remember that it's not the US but I can't remember where, sorry)? And what do you like to do when you're not working?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:53pm
I know how you feel. Most other women I meet are completely different from me. I feel like I'm different too and that works against me.
I can not acurately assess this because I dont know you, but are you outgoing and happy? I know that I'm not very outgoing, and it seems like guys are looking for girls who are outgoing, happy go lucky women who see the world through rose colored glasses-and dont have intellectual interests.
Have you tryed going to lectures, art galleries, coffee shops, or other such places where there might be lots of people? I'd say try bars, but that is usually bad news. Do you ever approach men or do you wait for them to approach you? Ever tryed a singles night at church?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 1:21pm

hi chicle,

I just wanted to let you know that I have many similarities to you and your situation. I am also 34 and maybe will go on a date about once a year, but that is all. People always say how they think it is so amazing that someone does not "catch" me up, but there is no one none the less. I am also shy and do not believe in sex before marriage (for myself) and therefore I think those are two things that keep men away from me.

Anyways, I don't have any answers to our dilemma, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 4:50pm
I am much older than all you ladies and have had the same problem all my life. I am outgoing and attractive but simply there are not enough decent men to go around. I'm talking to someone now but am not going to get my hopes up. It is a sad fact that in today's society many good women will always be single.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:07pm
i'm 27 and i havent been on a date since may...it's depressing,longest dry spell i've ever had. I cant say i do a lot to meet people...but it just never used to be this difficult. I was told on another board that i must not be attractive...it was the askem board, lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 5:43pm

<< was told on another board that i must not be attractive>>

That was very ignorant of the poster and absolutely not true. There are many beautiful single women out there who intimidate men so much that these men are afraid to make the first move.

BABY #3!!
 
Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 9:11pm
in what way do women intimidate men
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 11:21pm
i agree, i'm in 29 yr. old, have not been in a realtionship in 2yrs, and just enjoying life. i am lonely at time. but i don't have time for lies, whatnot. i would like to date again, when the time is right. my main focus is graduating next year w/ my associate degree, & finding time to exercise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 12:10am
This is depressing, all these stories of women who cant find men. It makes me wonder if I will ever find one. I agree, I dont have time for lies either, but the possibility that I wont find anyone is depressing...It makes me wonder if I should have stayed with my last bf
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 1:26am

I just wanted to say Hang in there everyone. I admit I am in a similar situation as well. Just turned 30 am very attractive, have a great career that pays me well but at the end of the day I come home to an empty apartment. I don't have the answers but I think we owe it to ourselves to make the most of our current situation and work on trying to changing things in our lives that we know we have the power to control. There should really be no good reason why any of us are home alone on the weekeneds or weeknights unless you actually want to be. Get out of the house and just do something positive. I mean what other choice do any of us have right now? Continue to just do you and hopefully things will align themselves as you wish.

Frankly I am tired of looking for what I want and not finding it. My search is over. If it's really meant to be he is just gonna have to find me!!

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