I really like him...what should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
I really like him...what should I do?
4
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 9:24pm

I met this guy at a social function earlier this year, and we both work and live in the same city. I was instantly attracted to him but thought a guy like him who is very attractive and smart could get any girls he wants. We exchanged business cards but never maintained any contact. However, he kept popping into my mind from time to time. Finally, I drummed up some courage and emailed him earlier this month and asked him to join me at a happy hour event. He came alone and we had a great conversation. My coworkers told me that he's totally checking me out. Then I emailed and thanked him for coming to the happy hour the next day. I also invited him to another happy hour event the following week, but he couldn't make it. However, he wrote in his email that we should hang out some other time and that he wants to stay in the city where we both work and live more often during the weekends. I was thrilled and thought he's interested. Within the next week, we had emails back and forth saying something like "ya, we should definitely hang out..." We even exchanged cell phone numbers. I even told him that I'm free during the weekends and we could hang out and grab something to eat. However, he hasn't called. I feel so sad b/c I really like him and he sounded like he's totally interested in hanging out and getting to know me in his emails. However, I really don't want to make the first phone call and do the "chasing." I believe that if he's truly interested in me, he would have made the first phone call. Besides, I had make the first move already by emailing him at the first place. I'm torn because I really really like him but I really don't want to throw myself out there and keep making the move.

I'm just so confused. From his demeanor during the happy hour and his subsequent emails, it seems that he's definitely interested (and my friends agreed). But why hasn't he called? I know for a fact that he's single and unattached, and I can't stop thinking about him. So what does this mean? Is he interested at all? What should I do? :-\

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 11:12pm

Absolutely do not call him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 9:08am
I completely agree with Shy. And - not to open up an old argument that we have had on this board - but I wouldn't even go out with him if he asked now. It's kind of disrespectful for him to not put forth any effort. If he is this way in the early stages, It's not likely that he will be more attentive later in a relationship. I wouldn't want to be with someone who always made me wonder like that. Who needs that kind of built in anxiety factor in a relationship? They can be challenging enough as it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 9:32am
It's a common misconception that a guy only has to have interest to go out with a girl (notice I said "go out with" and not "sleep with"). The reality is, he has to have enough interest to feel like it's worth his while. I know this may sound ridiculous and like there could be a lot of gray area in there, but there's not. If he really wants to make the effort, he will. You won't have time to question it because he'll already have made a move. For now, you need to move on. I sort of agree with Auntjules on this, if he calls now I'd be VERY hesitant to go out with him. It would feel too much like a convenience for him than genuine interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:53pm
Oh my God, the black hole comment was the best I've ever heard lately :) Thanks for the laugh, because it is so true!!!