Guys: At which point in a dating rela...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Guys: At which point in a dating rela...
12
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 1:42pm

Guys: At which point in a dating relationship do you expect to start having sex?



  • 1st
  • 2nd
  • 3rd
  • After several weeks of dating.
  • Engagement
  • Marriage.


You will not be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:00pm
see ladies men EXPECT sex by third date NO we don`t have to give it to them..BUT they don`t want to wait any longer than that!so to the ladies who say men don`t just care about sex....well the votes are in
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:18pm

Yes...because Ivillage polls are so scientific and are representative of the male population when the community is dominated by women. I need the rolling eyes icon.

I don't think that anybody has ever said men don't care about sex...in fact many have said the opposite.

But honestly...do we need to start this debate again? Can we just let it rest.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:29pm
i am simply going by polls by men...is that such a big deal?
so many men expect it by the 3rd date...if not sooner...is this a big surprise?
who said I was arguing?why must you get offended by anything I post?
is it a big secret sex is most important to men?is it such a bad thing?
geez/...men poll they expect it by 3rd date and you act like I said something wrong here....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:44pm

Heh...it would take a bit more than this to offend me really.

I think...7 or a few more men polled on this one...I just find it silly that "the votes are in" on 7 dudes and that makes it what appears in your post to be the real deal.

Its no surprise or shock or sinful that SOME men want sex by the 3rd date...its just that its not ALL men. My SO and I had sex on our 2nd day together. Do I think all men are or should be like him (waiting until 23 to have sex)? NO...are all men expecting sex right away? NO! I refuse to make sweeping generalizations on the male persuasion. Its just like the women that say all men are pigs...its not true and its so unfair. Women get up in arms when men make generalizations...why do women do the same? I refuse.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 10:25am
My SO and I had sex on our 2nd day together
oh really??yet you seem to get aggrivated when i say men Expect it or hope for it by 3rd date,yet funny enough that is when you gave up to your SO?Well I am sure that sparked his interest in you,because you were ready and willing..what if you didn`t have sex with him right away?you really think he would be as interested or want to wait?Like I said before and i will say it again...if you are NOT interested in having sex,whether you ware waitign for marriage or what not..DON`T DATE...men do not want to wait..you do the same thing,sleep with a guy within couple dates,and you are gonna tel me that is not ALl men care about or men don`t expect it?let me ask you this,why did YOYU wait longer?would it have to do with the fact maybe you were afraid he wouldn`t want to see you again?why else woudl men want to date,just to continue seeing movies and not getting laid?give me a break..you liked him...you wanted to date him..so you hadsex with him after couple dates,you felt hey i like him why wait?I feel the same way,yet women go nuts when i say don`t make guys wait...men want sex..when they go out on a date,it is their way of saying I want to ahve sex with you..if you feel men are capable of waiting,why did you have sex with him so fast?you are almost being a hyprocrite here...telling me men don`t just want sex,women should wait,yet you sleep with a guy after 2 dates yourself!but act like i am slut?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 11:28am

Honestly I knew this would be your reaction. Again you are reading into every thing I post and not really reading anything at all. I am not a hypocrite. My relationship with my SO is way way more complicated than what you are writing. I don't want to discuss it because I don't think it wwould matter...you already seem to have an opinion on me anyways and I'll be wasting my breath....but I'll just say this: Everything is not black and white, especially in my relationship. If I could even describe to you what my relationship is about and how it all started, you would have a more clear understanding. Having sex with him didn't "sell" him to go out with me or continue seeing me. I am certain we would have seen each other again if I hadn't had sex with him.

I think I can safely say that I have A) Never implied that women are sluts when they sleep with men right away, B) Never implied that sex is bad, C)That men that want sex right away are pigs or bad dudes

I think I'm just talking to myself at this point.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 4:36pm
it is your own personal choice and nothing wrong with it...but you did have sex with him right away...look any women who is normal likes sex and wants to have sex with a man...after a few dates,you SHOULD have sex with a guy..i mean come on!waiting any longer than a month and something is wrong with the woman..but if you slept with a guy after 2 dates...then telling any women they should wait is kinda silly...wait for what really?men want to get laid period..if they feel you are worthy enough they will date you...but sex is sex,plain and simple..geez..guys don`t need to be in love..sex is just that sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 9:31pm

I have never said that anybody needs to wait...I just said that not all men expect sex right away and that IF a woman wants to wait she can.

My relationship is not the typical dating relationship. The reason I brought it up is that I'm not a prude and don't think sex is wrong or expect everybody to wait until love or marriage or whatever. Everybody does what they want...but dating isnt equated to sex and thats my point. Sex is sex...just like you said.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 9:57pm
men are not going to wait...maybe couple dates..but they really don`t want to wait or play games...like you said yourself you went to bed with your guy pretty quick,nothing wrong with that,but obviously he wanted it,so did you,and well he wasn`t willing to wait or put it off now was he?if a guy is trying on the 2nd date..obviously he is after the sex
if a man is not just after sex,then why is he trying to get in your pants so quick?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 10:07pm

Again, its not as black and white as you put it. It was a mutual decision. If I hadn't had sex with him, we would still be together. He wasn't looking for sex at all. It was something we discussed for a long long time.

My relationship is complicated. Way more complicated than what you are saying.

Rubyshoes

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