Why did he just disappear?????
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| Sat, 12-03-2005 - 2:11am |
Hi, and thanks for listening...
At my friends' urging, I joined an online dating site. After a week or so, I got an email from a nice guy. We had alot in common. The short of it, is we went on 3 dates and it was great. Each time, he asked to see me again. Then I had to go on a business trip for a week. He called the day I left, and wished me a good trip. I haven't heard from him since, despite several calls and emails on my part. We did not sleep together.
Before I left on my business trip, we both had our online profiles hidden. During my trip, I went to cancel my online membership and when I did, it put my profile back online. That night, his was back online! What gives? Is he playing games with me? By the way, he is 40 and never been married.....
THANKS AGAIN,
BELLADONNA

That seems to be the nature of online dating.
The "why" doesn't matter...for whatever reason, he decided that the two of you weren't right for each other, and didn't have the courtesy to let you know that.
This is what dating is all about...spending time with different people to see if you're a fit. You can't take it personally if someone decides you're not right for them (although, again, it would be nice if he had the basic courtesy to let you know, but he doesn't). Move on, and find someone who IS right for you.
I find it helps to assume, after each interaction I have with someone early on in the dating process (for the first couple of months, at least) that it will be the last one, even if he says he'll call or whatever. That way, if he calls, great, but if not, oh well, next!
It also helps to be emailing and dating several prospects early on as well, so you're not so focused on any one guy.
Sheri
Gosh, thanks so much for the great responses. It's not that I'm totally into this guy or anything, but it's the first time this has happened to me. I made it pretty clear up front that I wanted to take things slow and date others at first, and expected the same from him. That I never wanted to marry again, but would love a deep relationship if it developed. He seemed fine with that and agreed with me. But it was him who was pressing me to talk about my feelings for him and what I though was "going on between us". Oh well, lesson learned.
THANKS A MILLION
Oh, well, that's a big red flag right there. He may as well have worn a blinking sign that said, "I'm not emotionally healthy".
You might want to do some reading up on red flags in dating. There's a book called "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Steven Carter that mainly deals with commitment issues, but it has a great chapter on red flags to look for early in the dating process.
And here's are some links to some good lists of red flags:
http://www.heartlessbitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml
http://www.womensaccounts.com/dating_a_loser.html