I've come to a realization

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
I've come to a realization
14
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 9:20am

So I've been doing some thinking about me and my singleness and how I only seem to get hit on by men I'm not attracted to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 9:39am

Hmmm, that makes me wonder about myself, too.

I was at the gym yesterday afternoon and watched a whole episode of Dr. Phil on his new book. They did all these "experiments" where they watched girls interact with just each other and noted how they acted then added men to the mix and you wouldn't believe how many girls changed how they acted. They were either trying WAY too hard or would tense up and get really quiet. Of course, this wasn't scientific but it did make me think about how I might change when someone I'm attracted to is around and not even realize I'm doing anything any different.

How do you think we can pay better attention to this?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:08am

Maybe you just need to snub all men then they'll want to approach you!


Seriously, I have the same problem for some reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:39am
welll....here is how it works..if men you don`t like come after you..ok..what would stop the guy yu DO like to come after you?Men hit on women They LIKE..WANT..attracted to..want to have sex with...if a man is NOT going after you..he don`t want you...does not mean others men don`t want you....but do NOT chase after men....let the guys come to you..if they do then they want you...don`t pursue the guy friends,they are your friends because they are not attracted to you to want more..sure they will have sex if given the chance..and if a guy knows you are looking for relationship,he may lose interest..guys are not looking for that right away..maybe later..regardless what they say...don`t listen to me if yo don`t want..but try going after guys or getting your firends to set you up with a friend..and see what happens...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:56am

One "tip" I heard is that you should have an opening line. Something more interesting than the weather but less intimidating than "Want to go out with me?" So I think I'll try this more often.

As for other "advice" in this post, I'm doing all I can to ignore that one. As someone who writes professionally, it's very difficult for me to take that seriously. It's an English teacher's nightmare. Yikes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 10:56am

Yeah, I have the "he's-too-cute-for-you" voice thing going on, too, and I also have the "he-probably-likes-thinner-girls" voice, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:07am

>They said if a girl is "too pretty," they'll stay away.

I completely agree. Society seems to cater for the average. People who are "too " seem to struggle.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:48am

Of course most guys would love it if a woman approached them, it takes all the risk away and it flatters their ego. But they would still need to take the step of asking the woman out if they were interested.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 12:12pm
I agree.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 2:15pm

Don't forget that "ignore" button.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 2:21pm

Yeah, they'd love it if we approached more because it strokes their egos and is less work.

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