To use or not to use
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To use or not to use
| Wed, 12-14-2005 - 2:56pm |
I have been dating this great guy for just under two months. Everything has been great. We seem to mesh well and have had a great time hanging out until........recently. We have been talking about the sex issue and he tells me that he is alleric to rubber, i.e condoms. I don't want to have sex without them for two obvious reasons. Babies and STDs. He said that if I wanted to use them, then I would have to buy them. He refuses to get them. So my questions is this... have you ever had a guy too embarassed to buy them??? Or how common is skin allergies to rubber??? This has been a complete curve ball with this relationship. He says he is not against using them, so if this is the case, why does he resist so much??? He does not seem to have a problem, unless I buy them. Please advise.

Honestly, I think that this is not a good sign. I am not saying that men should always be the ones to buy birth control, but he should at least be willing to do it part of the time. If he really does have a latex allergy (more common than you would think), then there are condoms that are made out of other materials. You can buy ones made out of polyurethane, for example. Here are some options: http://www.safesense.com/condoms-non-latex.shtml
There are also sheepskin condoms but those will only prevent pregnancy, they will NOT prevent STDs.
So he's allergic to them and won't use them, but if you do the buying then he'll use them? That sounds strange, to say the least. It sounds as if he's less allergic to rubber and more allergic to taking responsibility.
My big-sister instincts are screaming "red flag, red flag!" right now.
My message board poster instincts are saying to really think about this one.
Of course, this is all based just on what you've said. As always, there could be more to the story and there usually is.
Maybe sex shouldn't enter the picture until a ways down the road when a serious commitment is made, both parties have been tested and you can find an alternative form of birth control.
As far as him refusing to buy them boggles me. Most men will do it and usually have them available.
I also don't see how he is okay with using them if you buy them, but is allergic to rubber or latex. Seems fishy to me.
~Chloe
How old is this guy? 14?
It sounds like he is opposed to using them. Make him use them away. better be safe than sorry.