How can he pay attention to me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
How can he pay attention to me?
17
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 12:37am

I know this is off limits and too soon but Im starting to like this guy at work. Im saying too soon because I just started this new job last week and off limits because he is a coworker but Im starting to like him. I dont know but the minute I saw him, something in me made him like him unlike other coworkers that did not raise anything in me, just this particular guy not other coworkers.

In the company I work for we are only 20 employees and the companyi, is concentrated in only one floor of a 3 floor building, so it is very small. The work this guy do has not relation of what I do, so there is not connection between our jobs, our works are totally different, perhaps the only thing is that we work in the same company and we do see each other everyday, because the company is only in one floor and the floor is not big. Im the receptionist (administrative assistant) of the company, he is some notary.

The thing is Im starting to like him and I want him to notice me in a subtle way of course, I dont want to see desesperate in any way. I mean I know I have to know him first and get to know him better, since Im new in this company but I want that the times I run into him or have a slight contact with him, I do a subtle thing in order him to notice me.

So far in this time on this new job, he receives many phone calls and since he does not have his own phone line, he uses a cordless phone I have in the reception, so from time to time I have to take the cordless phone and pass the phone to him when the phone call is for him, but I mean I cant talk to him while he is on the phone of course or stay there until he finishes the conversation, that is totally unappropriate. But I do want to get to know him better, treat him as a friend first, I know is soon because I just started this job and I hardly know him, but as the times goes by I want to try and know him better but I dont know how to get him to notice me, I mean that at least he gets interest in talking with me when we run into each other at work.

So far we have chatted briefly just work related things but very briefly, I dont carry a conversation with him

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 8:05am
hello!
ok honey you ready for this?the best advice,regardless HOW MUCH I get yelled at by others on the boards?it is simple and straight out,and won`t get your hopes up/....
men NOTICE women,if they are attracted to them..ok?MEN ALWAYS want SEX....they are NOT going to ignore a woman if they think the woman is hot hot hot..men are always chasing after women..the ones who are not doing ANY chasing,are more likely gay or not interested in anything other than what they pick up at the bars...SO if he wants you,you will know..otherwise,don`t start up some crush at work...do NOT pursue him...if he has not by now,then forget it...
and yes men always want sex sex sex..so don`t lead the boy on.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 9:06am

As attracted to him as you may be, I can say with just about 100% certainty that it's not the right time to show it, or want it from him or pursue anything else at all. You're new in this office and since it's a small office, the dynamics are there and they are strong. I'd instead concentrate on learning all you can about your job, the office and the people in it. Do your job well, make friends, impress your boss and don't think of a potential relationship in the office for a loooooong time. I know this may sound harsh but you're the new one and you need to see things through everyone else's eyes first if keeping this job is a priority for you.

You may already be thinking all of this so in that case, just consider it a reminder.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 9:33am
I agree with lesleylou.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 10:17am
I agree with you and everyone else.
To the o.p., give yourself time in the job first. Learn the ropes and make a good impression first and foremost.
I think if you're friendly, but not overly friendly, he should atleast notice you. Just be yourself. But please concentrate on the job first.
I should also add that ou should be very discreet in how you feel about this guy. In other words, don't tell your business to ANYONE. Don't let on to anyone that you like him because it could get twisted around and turn pretty ugly.
You also need to find out if he's single and available in a round about sort of way.
Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 5:46pm
I apologize to the OP for going on a tangent but this is meant for lostprophet.
I just don't get it at all and probably never will as to why you think that all men want is sex. This is not true one bit. Why is it that you have to have black and white thinking like this. Its really kind of disturbing. Sure, most people including both men and women enjoy sex and maybe sometimes men do a little more but that isn't the ONLY thing that ALL men are looking for. For example, my ex bf really didnt' want sex that much and no he wasn't gay, he just wasn't a sexual person but he still wanted to be in a relationship with me. Why is it that some men wait months or even years until marriage to have sex with a woman if all men want is sex. Do you really think that a man would waste his time for months and years to wait for sex if that's all he wanted? Another example, my friend is with a man in the coastguard and she was with him for a year before he left for deployment and never had sex with him and he still cares about her greatly and wants her to be his girlfriend and wants a serious thing with her when he gets back. Explain this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 8:17pm
Oh I knew I was going to get yelled at by someone....LOL..it is simple,and i will explain it..men pursue women..if a man is not pursuing a woman,or is friends with a woman,he is not attracted to her,period.Sex is top priority for men..but then again,is that such a bad thing?yes maybe he will want a relationship eventually...but that takes time..sex is sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 8:28pm

Why is it that some men wait months or even years until marriage to have sex with a woman if all men want is sex. Do you really think that a man would waste his time for months and years to wait for sex if that's all he wanted? Another example, my friend is with a man in the coastguard and she was with him for a year before he left for deployment and never had sex with him and he still cares about her greatly and wants her to be his girlfriend and wants a serious thing with her when he gets back. Explain this.

maybe there are other women making him happy while he is away from home?who knows.We know how faithful men are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 8:55pm
I guess I don't share the same view as you because as far as I know all my exes have been faithful to me. Maybe they weren't behind my back but I do believe that most if not all really were faithful. I guess I'm lucky for either not knowing or the fact that I really wasn't cheated on. Some men really are faithful to their girlfriends and wives because they love and respect them, these women are enough for them and they would never want to lose them. I guess you could argue the same for women too though, some women are not faithful to their boyfriends or husbands but does that mean that ALL women are after sex, sex, sex. I guess I'm just trying to challenge your black and white way of thinking. Nothing in life really is ALL or NOTHING.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 11:45pm
sex is a normal thing..what is the big deal saying men are after sex?is it a big secret? as for the original poster,it is best she does not pursue the guy..he will go after her if he wants her...that`s all...men do the chasing..I have alot of guy friends..guys are only friends with women if they are not interested..sure they flirt and all that...but I think guys are nicer when they are friends..if I date someone,I liek it to be someone I am not friends with,and soemone that did the chasing..then if it does not work out,no friendship to worry about...guys are not going to hesitate if they want a woman
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 11:00am

what is the big deal saying men are after sex?


Because no one likes a broken record.

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