It's Over - Sorry this is so long!
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| Fri, 12-30-2005 - 12:54pm |
Well, I hate to say it, but my two month relationship is over. Everything was going well, I liked him more than anyone I have met within the past four years. He claimed that he has never liked anyone so much, in such a short amount of time. He always told me how cute I was, how lucky he was to have met me, and etc. Everything was perfect up to the point of the condom discussion, which was a board I posted recently within the last month.
Here is a little bit if history: Found out after two dates, that he was just out of a serious relationship within the past four months. I thought nothing of it, because we all have pasts. They dated for a year and then moved in with each other for another year. He says that he broke up with her because he loved her, but was not in love with her anymore. She moved out, but leaves her stuff, actually a lot oh her stuff at the apartment. The lease is over in March and he planned on breaking his lease and moving out in January and to move on. He says, he did not plan on meeting somebody so fast and really liking them. He planned on moving out, getting his new place, and then date.
To recap the condom issue, he basically told me that he was alleric to latex and did not like them. I refused to have sex without them and pushed the issue. It came out with a lot of proding, that he feels a little weird buying them. I thought, no big deal, because I feel a little weird too. But that was the start of all the problems. All of a sudden, he starts to change his plans with me all the time. He if he did come over, it would be for just a couple of hours, at strange times. He claimed he was really tired all the time. If I had asked him to come over after he got home, he wouldn't. We talked and texted all the time. So I thought it was a little odd, but just left it alone. All of a sudden, I realize that he never has invited me to his place. I ask what his address is to send him a Chrsitmas card and he avoided the question. I kept asking him and it came out that she (the ex) would be over to pick up his mail and feed the cat they had together. He did not want to take the chance of her opening his mail and see that it is from another girl. He did not want to deal with it. One morning I was talking with my mom and she said, "it sounds like she still lives there". Knowing that he had left for Ohio, I went to see where he lived. Found out that he gave me the wrong address!!!! I called him to break up with him for lying to me and he said he "inverted the numbers". All these things really made me paranoid. He told me when he got back, he would have me over to ease my mind.
So all through the holidays while he was in Ohio and I was in Michigan, we talked all the time and texted. I could not wait to see him. I had my doubts still and wanted to see what was going to happen. We both got back on Monday and we had planned to spend the whole day together on Tuesday. Tuesday, he comes over and does the same thing, changes his plans. He was only going to spend a couple of hours with me and spend the rest of the time with his friend from NY who was in town. While he was over, he hid his phone and would not let me see it. I was mad. The next day, he basically ignored all my text messages. That night, he texted me while I was out with a friend. I did not want to deal with him, so I turned my phone off. The next morning, he had the nerve to accuse me of ignoring him. Even though it was okay that he did the same thing that day. I broke up with him that moment. The whole day he is mad at me. He says I screwed the whole thing up, by being so "paranoid" and that I had no reason to be that way. He was "honest" with me about his situation and that this was all my fault. Can you believe it???
I told him she must still live there, otherwise, why would he have ignored my text all day, especially when I thought something was really wrong with him. He did not deny it!!! Plus he is blaming EVERYTHING on me. It's all my fault. My paranoia got the best of me. The more I type, the more I realize, I did the right thing by breaking up with him. He texts me this morning asking me if I am okay wit being alone and that he was going to call last night. I said, "I would rather be alone, than be in a relationship that I questioned constantly!"
Why are some guys just jerks??? Why can they not take repsonsibility for their actions???
Do you guys think she still lives there, like I do? What are your thoughts, because I would love to hear them.
Cheers from Chicago :)
Calie

It's difficult to know whether she still lives there or not. But this guy has sounded shifty from the beginning and it sounds like you did the right thing by breaking up with him. So, now that it's over, does it really matter whether she lives there or not?
Jules
Cheers back atcha from the City of Big shoulders.
I remember your post about the condom issue and I think you should be proud of yourself for sticking to your word.
I also remember telling you that it sounds like this guy might be avoiding responsibility and it looks like that inclination was right. It doesn't sound to me like he's willing to take responsibility for a LOT of things. It's tough and it will take some time to feel better but I think you know you did the right thing.
Not that it should matter either way but as far as his girlfriend still living with him, I'd say listen to your momma on that one.
Good luck :)
Two months and you haven't seen where he lives?
Good for you for paying attention to the red flags and looking out for yourself. Yes, it sounds like there were too many unanswered questions for comfort. How could you ever trust someone who won't even admit to his real address?
Also, I really can't stand it when someone makes YOU feel guilty for the breakup. The fault never lies entirely with one person - it always takes two. The fact that he won't own up to his own mistakes and tries to pin everything on you shows a complete lack of maturity.
AJ, enjoying life with C.