Dry Spell???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Dry Spell???
6
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:47am

Hi Everyone ... i've been single since the end of July. Getting over my break up was hard but i've managed. I moved into my own place in September and i've been working a full time job and a part time job so i've been keeping myself busy. With all of that going on, my social group as changed and i've changed as well. I went from living with 2 somewhat obese friends to living alone so my lifestyle changed rather dramatically and i've gone down from a size 15 to a size 7... this is because i've been more active and i do my own groceries and cooking now. Its been great and i feel wonderful.

The thing thats been bothering me is that not only do i NOT have a bunch of guys pounding at my door to date me, i'm not getting asked out at all. Ok... well there are a couple of guys interested in me but i'm not interested in them for various reasons. I don't come off as unavailable, but i don't seem too available. I'm attractive and I have some great qualities. I'm always approachable, i'm just not understanding why i'm not dating. I've tried the online thing, but I never actually go out and meet people. I feel like i'm going through some kind of dry spell or something. I need to snap out of it and put myself out there. I'm only 25 but I know that in the next few years, i'm going to want to settle down and i feel like i'm no where near that... and its kind of scary and hopeless. Any words of wisdom??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: kanger1
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 12:13pm

I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't. I just know I'm in the same boat.

I'm going through a dry spell and I haven't had a real date since last Sept. I've given my number out to a few guys in the past months and none called. It seems like everyone is going through dry spells these days as so few people are really putting themselves out there.

And my guy friends don't help either. They (aged 28-32) have the attitude that they are not chasing women anymore. If they want them, they're have to come find them. It seems like many men I come across aren't interested in dating these days. I'm approaching my 28th birthday and consider myself very attractive, social and tons of fun and no one is chasing me. So don't feel too bad.

I think there is something weird in the air these days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
In reply to: kanger1
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 1:11pm
Ugh i totally know what you're saying. All my guy friends (aged 22-30)have the same attitude. They don't want to do the chasing, now they want to be chased. I don't know about the guys that you know... but all my guy friends are pig headed enough that they WILL sit there and wait until they have it their way.
I don't think that it means that there isn't any hope left for women like us... but it sure feels that way. And god forbid they give me any advice as to how i could reel in a good guy. I've been told before that i should stay single for a while so i chose to be single for a bit... but I guess around Christmas and New years.. especially New years, i felt the sting of being single and now I want to date.... but dating doesn't want me lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: kanger1
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 11:08am
I think men pushing 30,well some of them,like ones you are posting about,are not interested in marriage and kids so maybe that is why they are not doing much chasing,knowing women want those things.Alot of me ARE more out for sex,so maybe they are not interested in women like ourselves?better that they DO NOt pursue right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
In reply to: kanger1
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 1:05pm
Very true. I find as i get older, my taste is changing as well. I STILL like to go for the guys who are hard to get... but i think many men and women are like that. But i'm getting very picky and though some of my friends think a little too picky- i've just come to realisation that I CAN be picky because i'm looking to settle down eventually so why wouldn't i want the cream of the crop in my eyes. But on the other hand... choices seem so limited that i'm not so sure anymore. Arg.. dating is just sooo annoying
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2005
In reply to: kanger1
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 7:45pm

**hugs**
I've been single since early June. What a way to start off my summer eh? But I know how you feel. My first date was a date from hell that happened before christmas (see my post, its here somewhere, actually funny now that I look at it). But I feel the same as you. My friends have changed dramatically, I work full time and go to school part time. I'm starting a yoga class tomorrow night with a friend. Anything to keep busy. I found New Years was hard being alone, as my ex and I originally started dating new years eve. I didn't want to go out and see all the happy couples and what not. So, I read a book, literally an entire book. Pretty good one though, if you want a good laugh read Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella....that was definately worth staying in for!

But guys aren't falling all over me either, and I work in technical support!! Its hard sometimes but I do enjoy being single, and if love is meant for me it'll happen when I'm ready for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
In reply to: kanger1
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 8:53am
It's really nice to hear from people in the same boat as me... and of course i know that there are many out there. Its just sooo hard and leaves you feeling so hopeless. The best way for me to look at it all is that now i have a chance to really be choosy about who I want to go out with and I won't settle for just anyone for the sake of being in a relationship. Actually- i was thinking of getting a book to read- one of those funny self help books. This one struck me because its from the same author as He's just not that into you..... Its called " Be Honest-- You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve" It focuses on you as a single person and helps you enjoy being single and what not. Could be interesting. Anything to help a girl out eh lol