need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
need advice
6
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 10:46pm
this is not really a major dilemma, but i need advice. there's this guy, who my brother's good friends with, who i don't know, but i could somewhat see myself with him. whenever we get together, we are really comfortable, but there is this big attraction, adn it is pretty apparent that it is mutual, i just don't really know how to ACT on it beacuse i want to "hook up" with him, but i don't really know how to do it without my brother finding out and stuff. please help, i know this is a stupid "teenage-type" question, but i really need advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: mollymo99
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 10:57pm

Gaurenteed your brother will find out. And he won't be happy. If you don't know him then how do you know you'll be good together??? If he wants you, he'll ask. If not, it probably has more to do with his relationship with your brother than anything with you.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: mollymo99
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 11:18pm

I'm confused by your use of the term "hooking up"? Do you want to pursue a relationship with him or do you want to just have a fling?

Either way, your brother will find out and you'll have to think about the long-term implications of that. If he wants to go out with you, it's likely he'll tell your brother. If he wants to sneak behind a friend's back to hook up with the friend's sister, he's probably not worth pursuing anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: mollymo99
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 3:44pm
i didn't mean to write, i don't know him, i was finishing my statement, but thats part of the dilemma. our entire families are really good friends, and i have known him forever. sorry if that was unclear. does that make any difference in the situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: mollymo99
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 5:10pm

I'd still let him pursue you, either way.

And if your families are close, that's even MORE of a reason to not be sneaky about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: mollymo99
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:24pm
okay, but how should i hint to him that i have feelings for him and we're not just tight friends or w/e we are, wihtout pursuing him or making things blatantly obvious?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: mollymo99
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 9:17am

It depends on your relationship with him now. If you normally are friendly and flirt with him, then there won't be much you can do that isn't obvious. I'd say as long as he knows you're available, that's pretty much all you need. If he's interested, he will find a way to let you know. Until then, I'd find other distractions so you don't get your mind so wrapped around it that it becomes your only goal.

How's your relationship with your brother? Is it comfortable enough when it comes to this stuff that you can ask him "has _____ mentioned anything about me?" or something like that?