What do you think?
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What do you think?
| Mon, 08-28-2006 - 8:30am |
So as most of you know, I am just starting to come off of a major crush in which the other person did not feel the same way.
| Mon, 08-28-2006 - 8:30am |
So as most of you know, I am just starting to come off of a major crush in which the other person did not feel the same way.
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Is it possible that things are magnified in your head because of your feelings for this guy? If the first friend does that to every guy, then chances are, she just looks on him as another guy, right?
But if either friend IS interested in him, and knowing of YOUR interest, is trying to get with him, then that person is not really your friend, IMO. At a minimum, they should TALK to you about it before charging ahead.
As for how you cope, cross that bridge when you come to it. Why invent and spend time worrying about problems that don't exist yet?
It just occured to me...it sounds like you could benefit from focusing on living in the moment. It's the same principle as the crushes, isn't it? You get ahead of yourself and start fantasizing about things that haven't happened yet (either good or bad).
Sheri
I am sure your friends are aware of this.
If it really bothers you and I don't blame you because it has been recent, I would take them aside and tell them how much it hurts you.
I wouldn't do that to a g/f of mine but I am assuming your friends know about your crush.
It takes time, maybe you might have to distance yourself until some time has passed and you regain your balance.
Is it possible he might be trying to make you jealous, or are your friends' trying to show you he is not worth the heartbreak?
Anyways, it is hard but you aren't alone.
Many of us have been in this situation.
Personally, I think friends should back away from him knowing how you feel.
Better days are ahead.
Someday this will be a distant memory.
Hugs hun!
I'm a big believer in the gut.
It could be that there's something going on and one or both of your friends has a thing for this guy. I would listen to your gut to the extent that it's telling you something's not right but not much more than that. I know this situation and from what I can tell, it's all too soon for you to look at it objectively.
We get too wrapped up in the crush to be able to see him as anything but perfect for us. Even though you know how he feels and you are moving on, part of it's still going to sting when there's another girl around him. It's only because, during the "crush period" we spend so much time nurturing our opinion of this person and convincing ourselves it's only a matter of time before we're with them that we've trained ourselves to see him only in this way.
If you can, I'd distance yourself as much as you can. I know it's hard to imagine because you're in the same circle but it can be done. And, as shallow as it sounds, finding another temporary obsession (like a crush) can also help. Good luck and hang in there.
Believe me, that's something I've thought of but the thing is, my roommate already has a boyfriend.
You're SO right.
i had a really big crush on this adorable guy in college, and though i was rather shy and tentative about it, i had plans - i mean, i really wanted to get to know him better, and i thought there was really a chance for us.
well, one of my roommates happened to meet him through another avenue, and he asked her out on a date! she accepted, and i was crushed. i hadn't been terribly vocal about my crush (though a few of my roommates did know of it), so i couldn't really blame her, but it really, really hurt.
i did the whole thinking ahead thing times ten - how will i handle him being around our apartment all the time as her boyfriend? how can i bear to see them hug or kiss? how can i handle hearing her talk about him? it was awful, and i felt like the lamest person ever, too, because i had to totally witness him ask someone *else* out and realize he wasn't going to ask me out.
it turns out my roommate didn't like him at all and basically kicked him to the curb. i was sort of relieved, but that sort of hurt, too. i certainly wouldn't have kicked him to the curb!
i'd like to think i'm a good enough friend that i wouldn't pursue or flirt with a guy whom i knew another friend liked. but everyone makes mistakes, and judgement can sometimes be blurred. it is definitely good to keep other things on your mind and enjoy your new options. this too shall pass. good luck!
It would probably be hard for me to see them together, and if your roommate (or another friend) did get together, I would hope that they would be sensitive to your feelings and not stick their tongue down each others throats in front of you ;) With that being said though, maybe that will help you to move on, but I know it will still be hard to see them, but just keep reminding yourself that he's not the right guy for you :)
I tell ya....boys. Who needs them?
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