Am I crazy what happened?
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| Mon, 09-04-2006 - 8:55pm |
I have already posted this under GUY TALK hoping that a guy would read it and give me a males prospective. However, it could be that maybe I need a woman's prospective instead since we run into typical situations like this more than men.
I've been going crazy trying to figure this situation out for the last couple of days and need help. There's a guy at my job that I'm interested in and thought the was interested in me too. We talk often, flirt and laugh our butts off everytime we're together. He asks everytime he sees me how my day is going (my boss is a nightmare...lol) and never passes me by without saying hello. No matter what he's doing or where he's going. I was trying to get up the nerve to ask him out but he beat me to it. He asked me to a picnic that he and some friends were having. I figured this was my chance to get to know him better and went along. It was great and everything went better than I could've imanagined. Until, I asked him to a function that I was having the next week. He told me and everyone that would listen repeatedly that he was coming. I know this because people around me kept telling me. So, I was of course very excited as the event drew nearer. Then you guessed it he didn't show up no call, no email, no nothing. When I saw him next he said he was tired from working all day and just couldn't make it. I tried to be open-minded but something about it just didn't ring true or make sense. As far as I know he's not married or dating anyone because I assume this person would've been at the picnic. I just don't understand I really need a man to explain this to me. Why would a guy go through all the trouble of telling you he wanted to be somewhere he didnt'. There was no pressure at all I SWEAR since other people he and I both knew would be there. I just thought since we had such a good time together at his shindig. Why not do it again? Ok, so am I just DAMN crazy or is it possible I just read more into the situation than there was. My girlfriends say I should give him another chance because it's possible he got cold feet and just got scared. I don't know what to think I just don't want to start falling for someone who is playing mind games.

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If he had called and cancelled, I'd say give him another chance.
Iriegal37,
Don't give him another chance. He doesn't have cold feet. He is just inconsiderate and rude. He's shown you he doesn't respect you to call and cancel and to give him another chance would be to condone his behaviour.
Feisty
I wish I had and answer for you but im having the same problems :(
ps- You're def. not crazy.
I don’t know if I would consider him rude and inconsiderate, but I would almost say that he definitely isn’t interested in you in a romantic way or at least not to the extent that you are in him.
IMO: His invitation to the picnic can’t technically be considered a date. He likes your company as a friend and wanted you to be there. You also can’t consider your invitation to the function a date because as you said yourself:
“There was no pressure at all I SWEAR since other people he and I both knew would be there. I just thought since we had such a good time together at his shindig. Why not do it again?”
I don’t see why he would have needed to call you specifically to let you know that he can’t make it. I don’t find anything confusing about his behaviour. You misread the situation and he can’t be held accountable for that.
Hal_9000,
If I asked you to a function as friends and you told me days on end that you were excited to go and you didn't turn up with no explanation, I would think that was rude and inconsiderate. There is no difference whether it is in a friendship scenerio or date scenerio. He works with this woman. A bit of common courtesy never go astray.
Feisty
J_dinitto,
So he's biding his time with you, he finds someone he really wants to be with and she turns out to be a b*tch, so he goes back to you. And this has been going on for a year? Stop being a doormat, gather some self respect and get the hell out of there. If a man is too hard to understand, he's generally not worth it. Find someone who is emotionally available to you and leave him behind. He's not your friend and the only reason why you would keep him around is that you're secretly hoping for more. It's not going to happen. Don't waste another day on this guy.
Feisty
Edited 9/5/2006 9:48 am ET by feisty01
Well if he wasn't interested in the first place, why did he ask her to his 'shindig'?? And please don't say he was just being polite; if he were so polite then he would have had the decency to call to say he couldn't make it to the event she invited him to. Unfortunately what that guy did isn't uncommon at all I've found. Like one of the earlier posters said It happens to all of us. If I were you, I wouldn't consider him relationship material. And try not to rack your brain trying to figure out why he did that. You'll never come up with a reasonable explanation.
And for that gal who is still dealing with the guy who started contacting her after the trip to Europe went not-so-well: That guy is using you as a stand-by. He is totally taking you for granted. Keep that in my mind as you deal with him. Just my opinion.
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