What should I do with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2006
What should I do with him?
8
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 7:27pm

I have been dating this guy for about six months. He is an older man. I'm 26 and he is about 48. I'm really attracted to him and we always have a great time when we hang out. He says that he really likes me but he makes me feel like he only wants me for sex. We spend some time talking but he never wants to go out to movies or plays or just walk around the city. We do these things sometimes but it's really rare. Also, when we are finished having sex and it's late at night he won't let me sleep over. He makes me drive an hour to go home even if it's two in the morning. I've never dated an older guy so I'm wondering if it's just because he's older. Anyhow, can someone help me out and let me know if you have any experiences like mine or adive.

Thanks,

Michelle

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 8:18pm

No, it's not because he's older, it's because he just wants a very limited relationship with you. However, it may be true that he chose a younger woman because he thinks it's less likely you'll have the nerve to complain about the crumbs he's giving you.

If you want more than what you have now, you're with the wrong guy.

Sheri

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 10:00pm

I agree completely with Sheri.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 10:08pm
I have to say that I agree with the other posters as well. Seems as if he's in it for only a casual fling. If you want a relationship and you are convinced that he may not be with you for the same reasons, I would ask him what he wants out of this and get a direct answer from him. But it seems as if his actions are pointing in the direction of wanting only a casual thing.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 10:50pm

I agree with all the other posters. I am a 53 yr old man and have had a relationship with a woman 12 yrs younger than me (as well as someone several yrs older). The behavior has nothing to do with age or maturity.

When I connect with a woman sexually I also want to share everything else, e.g. activities, emotions, cuddling, ... a real relationship.

I have had a "just sex" relationship but found that highly unsatisfactory and won't do that again for that distracts my time/attention/energy away from creating a real relationship.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 09-16-2006 - 1:42am
He is really screwing things up for the rest of us -- the good guys!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Sat, 09-16-2006 - 10:00am

I haven't read any of the responses, but I just have one word...LEAVE.

If this guy isn't even going to respect you enough to let you stay the night at 2am, well, I wouldn't even waste the time driving over there. I'm all for being a homebody but if the guy I was seeing didn't want to go out, wanted to have sex and then kicked me out? Well, honey, this guy totally isn't worth your time. That's disrespectful behavior in my opinion and who needs that?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Sun, 09-17-2006 - 6:40pm
Michelle-
Run as fast as you can away from this guy! He is selfish! What are you doing with someone this much older than you? You can find better! I'd like to quote Dr.Phil here " You teach people how to treat you". Don't let someone treat you like a doormat! You're better alone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2006
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 7:55pm

Thanks for the advice. It's hard for me to leave because I like him so much but I think you're right and I'm going to try my best to do it. Thanks for the advice.

Michelle :)