serious fears of rejection
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serious fears of rejection
| Mon, 09-18-2006 - 5:30pm |
after ending a very unhealthy eight-year relationship, i have been single for six years. during that time, i have "dated", and would only call one of those an actual "relationship" and it lasted 6 months. i feel amazed sometimes that other people are able to find someone and be happy. i can never even seem to get a relationship off the ground without crashing and burning during the "90-day probationary period". i recently had four dates with a guy, i thought things were going well, and then he never called me again. about a week ago i met a guy while out with a group of friends, and ended up sleeping with him. logic tells me this is not the ideal way to begin a relationship, but stranger things have happened... i am so afraid each time i meet someone new, because that all-too-familiar feeling of being rejected is so awful. i try to date all different types of men, and try to remain positive and optimistic. but i am so frequently disappointed that i have come to expect it. i don't think i sabotage anything, all i try to do is be myself and let things go where they may. i know the alcohol-induced hook-up isn't the way to go, but sometimes i am just so lonely and desparate for some affection that i can't stand it. am i stupid to expect anything to come from this one night hook up? there was a connection, but i don't know if it was all from the alcohol. am i the only one who feels like it's just never going to work out for me?

I'm always waiting for the crash and burn.