Online dating, just not for some?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Online dating, just not for some?
4
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 8:02pm

So I'm 24 and I've been single for 8 months or so. First time single in like 6 years and I'm actually pretty content right now.

I'm trying to decide if I'm either so content that I'm not into actively pursuing the dating world OR if I'm simply not one of those people that can do online dating. I've had a subscription to Eharmony but I feel too picky, like I'm closing matches left & right. I've been on 1 Eharmony date and cancelled another because he was smothering me. I just don't handle meeting a stranger well, I'd rather stay home than go through that nervousness and stress. Now if I've had a couple of low key interactions with someone and had the chance to develop a little crush, I'm fine and totally into going out. So what gives? Am I just not the type that can do online dating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 11:08pm

I would say that most people find meeting people online to be some what stressful and it is not for everyone. But I feel that the only way to learn and grow is to place yourself in situations that are not the norm for you. So don't give up on online dating sites, because they really are a great place to meet people. I have tried both Match.com and Eharmony and found that I preferred Match.com because I had more control over who I was meeting. I preferred searching, reading the profiles and deciding for myself who I wanted to email. Whereas, Eharmony only sends you the profiles they feel are a match. I mean come on, you are never going to know if there is chemistry until you meet in person anyway.

So it might be that you are so content right now that you do not want to put any effort into it, which is understandable. But just give yourself some time and see where you stand in another month or two before you decide it is the online dating that is putting you off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 3:47am

The reason why you feel pickier is that you are ‘meeting’ at least 10 times the number of men online than you would in real life. As a result you become more ruthless and uncompromising with your choices. You also realise that people are the same no matter where you find them.

IMO: The main problem with online dating is that is touted as THE place to find your perfect match when the truth is they have the same jerk to good man/woman ratio as the real world. It is not nearly as effortless as they make it sound.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 7:02am

I like Match.com better as well and have considered signing up. However I'd like to have the option to keep my profile private even while communicating with matches. I don't want anybody to be able to search and see me, just those I wish to communicate with. Or even if I could keep my photo 'private' and choose who I release it to. Do you know if any of this is possible?

Thanks!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 7:45am

I don't know if you can hide your profile on match and still search, but I know you can on yahoo.