What are is intentions
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| Fri, 10-06-2006 - 1:49pm |
Let me start by giving you some history...
This guy has been in a relationship for 3 years, live in for one, and the just broke up 3 weeks ago. She moved out because he slept at my house... (nothing happened, I live down the street from a bar and he was too drunk to drive so he slept on my couch.)I also recently stopped seeing someone.
About 6 months ago when I met him there was clearly a mutual intrest. They had broken up a few days before that so we didnt act on it becuase I was sure they were getting back together. He agrued that they wouldnt and that he wanted to be with me...i told him to wait, they got back together.
This time seems different. He stops by to say hello on his way home from work, sends me messages to say good morning and good night. And we have had pleanty of cuddley nights on the couch. We havn't slept together because I told him I wanted more than just a bootycall. When I ask him about her he says he can't promise that they won't get back together but he doesn't think so. I think thats why he doesnt mind waiting for sex. He's also very sweet...tells me Im beautiful and how he can't get enough of me and misses me when Im not around. At first I thought it was just sweettalking to get laid but if he doesnt mind not having sex what is he after? Is he actually that into me and just taking time to move on from her...or I am just a fill in for affection untill they get back together?

I would say that there is a very high likelihood of you getting hurt in this situation.
This man is keeping ALL of his options open. Why would you waste time on him when he can't even assure you that his last relationship is completely over? Trust me, you ARE wasting your time with him. There is nothing in his actions that make me think he is into you. He is just using you. Don't make the mistake of thinking that sex will consummate your relationship.
Edited to Add: There is one thing I am certain about; If he meets his Ex again he will say that you mean/meant absolutely nothing to him if he thinks there is a chance she will take him back.
Edited 10/9/2006 10:13 am ET by hal_9000
She showed up and said she wanted to work things out. All i got was a text message saying that he didnt know what to do. I ran into him later that night at a bar and he said he was sorry he hadnt called and that he just didnt know what to say but that he didnt want to do anything to upset me. I told him it was too late and that i was angry. he came back with the i love you baby and you're so beautiful comments. Like an idiot i fell for it, again, only to find out the next day....after not getting a phone call...that she had moved back in.
Yesterday morning he called but when i answered he hung up. He called back later that evening and said that he cares about me more than anyting in the world and that he just can't be with me "right now" but that he wants to be "friends." I told him that there are too many feelings involved and that I can't see how that would work when I know damn well that i want more. I havnt heard from him since.
Was I wrong to say that? It's killing me not having him around even as a friend but i give in to him far to easily and i know somehow i will end up the girl on the side and i cant handle that. This whole thing is making me an all around miserable person...i want to call him so bad but i need more than half of him.
"Was I wrong to say that? "
Quite the contrary, I think you were very right to say that.