Really sad and upset...need thoughts...
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| Tue, 10-10-2006 - 11:40pm |
Please pray for me. My grandfather was moved to a nursing home this week due the loss of his mobility. And now they found spots that are growing on his brain they are concerned about as well as behind his ear. He is getting radiation this week and if that works, they give him 3-12 months. If not...it could be anytime.
I'm sorry but I'm just going to ramble a bit here...
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I was lucky to grow up with both sets of grandparents and my two great-grandmothers (one of which I am very close to and she is still living). The first major death in the family was my uncle in 1998.
Its like I've been grieving for a year now. He's had this for over a year and fought like a champ and now its just "hit" him. Every time I've been home from Chicago, I have felt like its my last goodbye. I felt like Christmas was our last Christmas and spent some of the day bawling my eyes out thinking about it. I asked R to come home with me in May so they could meet before he's gone.
I have school and internship and I cant afford to fall behind. I've been busting my tail getting stuff done and racking up hours to prepare for this. I have projects started and almost completed 6 weeks ahead of schedule. But I cant face it. I cant see him in that damn home and crying over him and yet again going back to school after 3 or 4 days at home, wondering when it will happen.
And I'm worried about my dad who is taking care of my grandma and everything that goes with this. His one sister is completely useless (and she actually lives in the same town as my grandparents), and the other two live on opposite sides of the country.
I just need a lot of strength right now and support and any wise words. Thanks for listening
Ruby
(((Jules))) who is also grieving
Edited 10/11/2006 2:36 am ET by rubyshoes03


I don't really have any thoughts...I know how hard it is to watch someone you love die.
Ruby,
Like you, I was really fortunate to have four grandparents until I was 26. My dad's dad died about five years ago, and my mom's dad died the next year.
It was devastating to lose my dad's dad, because I grew up with him in the same state and he was such an amazing person. He had had terrible back pain for years and doctors blew him off - turns out it was a tumor on his spine - lung cancer that had metasticized. He died two weeks after that diagnosis. It shook our family to the core, and I've never seen my dad so sad. he still visits grandpa's grave about once a month.
My other grandpa -- my mom just gave me a package he had sent her to give to me in June 2002. She couldn't do it back then - it was postmarked the week before he died.
I think that shows how hard it is for our parents to lose their parents. We will have to face the same thing someday as well. Death is loss, and it's painful.
My point to sharing that story is that I know it is really hard to lose the people who have always been there. You can tell yourself he had a good, long life. That he's better off no longer in pain when he does pass away. But none of those things change the fact that you hurt and that you miss him.
The best thing you can do is let yourself grieve. Talk to your family about it. Talk to your boyfriend about it. Trying NOT to be sad is impossible. Also, letting your dad talk to you about it is a great way to support him during this difficult time.
It does get better with time. Just honor him as you can now, and honor him when he does pass on. That's the best gift you can give to an elder in your family.
{{{{HUGS}}}} and prayers for your family.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Thanks TG. I decided to go home next weekend for a few days to visit him and the rest of my family. Its going to be really hard but I know I have to go. Thanks for your story and words. Much appreciated!!
Ruby