Sick and Tired of the Single Life!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Sick and Tired of the Single Life!!!
12
Wed, 10-11-2006 - 12:34pm
Im sure Im not the only one on here thats sick and tired of the single life but Id figure Id post this and maybe get some responses..... Im 21 years old, Im a full time time student in the nursing program and I also work part-time, so between these 2 things, I am pretty busy with a full schedule... I dont really go out much, if I do its either going up to the bar with some friends for a beer or two or hanging out at a friends house. I keep telling myself that at this point in my life I do not need to be on the lookout for guys because I will be way too busy come 2 semesters when I begin my clinicals in school, but then again I look at everyone else around me that I care about and they are so in love and it makes me feel lonely. I dont really go out that much and my ideal place to meet someone isnt exactly in a bar, so how would you go about looking?

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 10-11-2006 - 10:23pm

Men...relationships....all overrated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 12:18am
I really appreciate your message! As short and simple as it may have sounded it meant alot.... I do agree with you about enjoying the person that I am and having time to achive what I wish! Thanks so much for your kind words! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 12:29am
I totally agree with Shy. I did not look very hard for relationships when I was studying. It was so hard handling part time job and studies that I wasn't ready emotionally or physically for anything. Plus I enjoyed that a lot and even enjoy it now. When the time is right everything will flow. Meanwhile, enjoy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 12:28am
I feel the exact same way....I'm in the ed. program at my college and things are really starting to get difficult as far as the program, so I feel like I should be happy that I don't have a bf to distract me from my work. But I too look at most of my friends and theyre all so happy and in love and I'm just lonely. Ive actually been dating a lot lately but nothin has worked out....ugh. i dont know where to meet ppl but when u find out, let me know lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 10:17am

At 21, and with a full and busy life, why even bother looking or worry about being single? You are way way too young to worry about it - please don't, there'll be PLENTY of time to do so later! I agree with everyone else - enjoy life, gather experience along the way and see where it gets you dating-wise!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 2:11pm

I agree with everyone else. Enjoy being young, enjoy school, and don't focus so hard on finding a relationship. There's plenty of time for that.

As for where to meet people -- when you're in college, you have endless possibilities for meeting people (I'm talking friends here - if a boyfriend prospect happens along, then great). I know I took it for granted in college and at 21 that I would always be around that many people my own age and in my same place in life. Once you leave college, it is never as easy to meet people again - believe me. Those of us in our late 20s and 30s are always asking - how do I meet people? It's hard even to find new friends after school is over.

So, join clubs you like, attend the cheap movies on campus, go to the pep rallies, check out the fundraising events on the quad. There is always something going on, somewhere to go and people to meet in college. Enjoy it!!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 12:21pm

While on one hand I agree with the advice here saying just have fun and enjoy school life etc etc - someone else also pointed out that once you leave it becomes harder and harder to find the right guy. Aside form the fact that I'm starting to find that all the good ones are pretty much married at my age, which is only 27!!! Plus life certainly doesn't get any easier and you have less and less free time the older you get.

So at 21, while you shouldn't be worried about finding "the one" definitely take advantage of your surroundings and just date if someone asks you out, you never know who you're going to click with, and it will never be this easy to meet people again! don't worry about finding exactly what your friends have because its true that it shows up when you aren't looking for it! :)

I too am tired of the single life (after 5 years of boyfriends though with no breaks, I've really only been single for a couple months) so I completely understand your feelings. It can be frustrating and depressing when you're the only single one in your crowd, no matter what your age (I can tell you if I had any single girlfriends at all, I know I would feel differently about this! I bet you would too)

I would say just keep doing what you're doing, maybe try to convince your coupled-up girlfriends to go out on more girls nights out rather than staying in! or make sure they are on the lookup for good guys for you- I agree that finding guys in bars is not the best route!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 9:57am
I'm just turning 31 and it has been really difficult for me to meet others and find someone I click with and I used online dating services as my main way so I agree that when you are in your early 20s in college it is a lot easier to meet someone to date but I understand how you can get lonely too. Sometimes I notice though that the people we pick to be with in our early 20s don't resemble the kinds of men we would pick in our late 20s early 30s. I am choosing a lot more wisely now even though it's a lot harder to meet that one. So in that sense maybe having more casual relationships when you are younger is smarter because you change so much. I think that it might be smart to wait until mid to late 20s to look for a serious relationship leading to marriage because you won't be changing and growing so much at that time. But if you happen to meet the love of your life then that's lucky too and go with it......
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 12:42pm
I completely agree with everything that is being said. I'm also 21, in college in the Netherlands for a year. I just got out of a very short, but sweet, relationship that just wasn't meant to be. Sure it would be great to find someone, but one year is too short, for anything to evolve in the long term. Besides, i've got friends, I love my life here as it is.
Sure, it makes me a bit lonely, like you, to see friends with their bf/gf and seeing them so completely happy. But you can't decide when and how who hook up. I think it just happens by chance encounter, in my personal (and friends) exprience. 21 is young, there are many years ahead of us to find THE one. I want to concentrate on my studies now, get my diploma. But I'm not shutting the door on anything. I just think of a relationship as being a bonus in my school year. If it happens, it happens. I won't say no!
Camille
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 9:46pm

Put your friends love aside, ask yourself one question, are you satisfied with your life? Is there anything more you want in life, which isn't a relationship? The answers will determine weather you actually want to be in a relationship. As much joy and excitement a wonderful relationship may bring, its side-effect includes just as much pain.

You may ask your friends to introduce some of their other single friends to you,f and started dating for fun. But don't put your hopes high, and don't fall for anyone easily. Boys in 20th has not developped proper sense of responsibility and adulthood yet. Even man in 30th can be a big baby.

My 31 years old ex-boyfriend and I just broke up, because he's too immature to work on our relationship issues, and he doesn't want to give for a committeed relationship after 15 months.

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