Trying to decide
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Trying to decide
| Wed, 10-11-2006 - 11:48pm |
I've known this guy for about a year and we really haven't been that great of friends but we have talked to each other over the internet every once in awhile. Last year when I first met him I heard a lot of stuff that was hard to believe and just about everyone who worked with him said he was this big liar. I really didn't know what to believe because i didn't know him that well. I do find some stuff very hard to believe though. Well we didn't talk for awhile because we were both in relationships but a couple of months ago we started talking again. We have basically talked like everynight for the past three months. Both of us are out of our relationships and he just asked me out on a date. I sorta want to go because I think it'd be cool to hang out with someone new and just get back in the whole dating game. However I'm a little hesitant because I don't know if he is lying to me or telling the truth about the things in his life and such. The fact is though that I really don't know anything about him before this year so he could very well be telling the truth it's just hard to believe. What should I do? Should I go out and see where it goes? I realy don't know. I don't tolerate liars but I can't prove that he's lied since I don't know all that much about him. Any ideas?

I'd say go out with him, but pay close attention to what he says and does.
I like the idea of "innocent before proven guilty," but maybe not so much when it comes to new relationships. I don't know this man, but I've been with a chronic liar, and it is a relationship I regret deeply to this day.
If you think he's lying about his past and he is, he's bound to lie about other, important things, too, and how will you know? People lie for a reason, and someone who fabricates an alternate past, etc., probably has some pretty big problems that you shouldn't have to deal with, and that you probably won't be able to deal with anyway. People lie to avoid reality and their own problems, and that's no way to build a meaningful relationship.
I think I'd just be very cautious if I were you. Trust your insticts with it - lies are more easily detected with your gut than your head, I think, because liars are often really good at lying.
Thanks for the replies. We were both involved in relationships for pretty much the past year. I know he's(we'll call him bob) pretty much liked me since I met him however I had just gotten out of a 4 yr relationship with a guy that cheated on me. My best friend was there for me the most so I started dating him(which was probably a mistake but that's a whole other story) and bob backed down. I was interested in him at the time but I think it was just because I was at a very low point and he was one the people who helped me through it. Now for the past year I dated my best friend off and on and bob dated some other girl. Well my friend and I just didn't work out and bob broke it off with his girlfriend. For the three months we talked I just saw him pretty much as a friend to talk to and nothing more. I knew he liked me from the conversations we had but I always made it clear that I was with someone and I wasn't interested. Since we really didn't hang out his girlfriend probably didn't even know we were talking. Now that we're both single again he has asked me out pretty much everyday.
I'm still debating whether to go out with him or not. I have major trust issues with guys because of the ex that cheated on me. He had lied to me for about a year before I found out. I just hate to accuse him or even have a feeling that he is lying without knowing for sure. I think it is slowing my decision though because I would hate to get hurt again. hhh...such a hard choice. Thanks for listening and giving advice though. it was very helpful. I"ll try to come back more often now that I'm single again!