Girls...how to build up your self-esteem
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Girls...how to build up your self-esteem
| Tue, 10-24-2006 - 1:16pm |
I don't know, I've just always have a lower self-esteem about how I act, what I do, or the way I look.
Is it a personality thing that will just stick with me for the rest of my life? Or is there a way to improve that. I know it's important to have high self-esteem, and i tried hard to believe in compliments that people sometimes gave me. But my heart would just takes me to aquestions like "Maybe they're just being nice.", "Do they just like to throw compliments at people?"...etc.
Friends told me to stop thinking like that, but I don't know how.
Any advice?? Do you guys have this problem?

This is something I struggle with, too.
I started paging through my mind, trying to recall when my self esteem seemed to leap up! Looking back it seriously feels like it just happened overnight but I know that couldn't have been the case. I think my self esteem really improved while I was seeing an awesome therapist! I was having problems with my anxiety, worry and anger, especially in serious relationships. She was able to help me work through WHY I acted the way I did in certain situations. We worked together to uncover 'beliefs' I had and work through them. I wish I was still living in that area and had better health insurance because I would still be seeing her for little things.
I know therapy isn't an option for everyone. Whenever you feel like you're questioning peoples intentions play devil's advocate with yourself! For example...
She thinks my hair looks nice? Is she being sarcastic?
Devil's Advocate: Why would an adult make a sarcastic childish comment like that?
But my hair looks like crap today, it's frizzy and not laying right!
Devil's Advocate: Maybe it's the windblown look you always see in the magazines, or maybe she tihnks the frizz is volume!
If you start challenging yourself you'll begin to realize that your concerns may not even be valid by any reasonable standard!
Sometimes increasing self esteem is changing things you don't like about yourself that you have control over.
Those are just some thoughts...self-esteem is tough and elusive!
Not to be arrogant, but when I started valuing my opinions over other people's opinions, I saw a rise in my self-esteem.
"I think self-esteem is not really all about being comfortable with how you look to others, but about accepting yourself and knowing that your decisions are the best ones you can make. "
I agree with that and would like to add, even if you've made some bad decisions/choices in the past, it doesn't make you a bad person.