a poor dater

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2005
a poor dater
1
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 3:02pm

Hey! just wanting some opinions...

When I go on a date I always offer to pay my way, 1/2 the meal, or the movie tickets, what have you. Thing is, I'm a student, and money is TIGHT! Tightest it's ever been at the moment, I really just don't have the money to pay for anything! lol. Granted, guys usually offer to pay it all, but not always, and I don't like to rely on that at all, I will always want to offer at least.

I'm wondering if I should hault dating for a bit, or is there a way to get around this.

Thanks for your thoughts!

lulu

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: lulu_lemon
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 7:39pm

I think you are right on in offering to pay your 1/2 - however if its someone who knows you are a student and don't have a large income, and who still suggests somewhere expensive - even at a pricey movie theater, etc - I think it would be ok to hold out and see if he'll just pay rather than trying to be extra polite and offering to share! Especially on a first date, if he allows you to pay I don't think thats a good sign- I know its an antiquated idea, but there are just some things that shouldn't change, and a polite guy will just pay for a first date. Particularly if he makes significantly more money than you (the only time I've ever not offered to pay my half was because although I do make pretty good money now, I was out with someone who makes even more and could certainly afford it since he blew money like there was no tomorrow!) Of course you have to be prepared to pay if he doesn't :(

Otherwise, being on the poor side, make sure you chime in with date ideas that are cheap! If your city offers free outdoor concerts or movies (ok now that its almost November this wouldn't work in many places) take advantage of that and pack a picnic rather than buying food from concession stands or restaurants. For right now, in Chicago for instance, free ice skating in the park will be opening up in the next few weeks. Things like that are perfect date spots for those with small incomes or none at all (it was only a little over a year ago for me I was in the same spot so I totally understand!) I think most cities would also have cheaper movie theaters that have older movies. There's nothing wrong with hitting up a cheaper diner rather than a fancy restaurant - hey if the two of you can have a blast at a dive rather than needing the fancy surroundings to create atmosphere, that has to be a great sign. Point is - if you take the initiative in offering up ideas, this can help you minimize any costs!