It's never easy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
It's never easy...
2
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 7:05pm

hi everyone,
i haven't posted here in a while, but i guess i need to vent. i'm single and in my late 30's. i met a guy about a month ago who is smart, funny, attractive, and interesting--and really into me! wow, THAT hasn't happened in a long time. but he's also difficult, negative, and sarcastic. i've tried to be honest with him, explaining that there are things about him that raise red flags for me, and he keeps saying he's out of practice with relationships, and will try to alter his behavior.

i know in my heart that it's not going to work if he has to "be on his best behavior" around me, but i guess i'm flattered that he wants to try. i'm also so discouraged with dating (especially online dating) that i've come to believe it might not happen for me. combine that with being alone on the holidays and going stir crazy in my home, i'm not in a great place right now. just goes to show you that even when you have someone, it's not always easy... thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 7:17pm

Neppi68,

I am of the firm opinion that when it is right, it is easy. I was reading one of the other posts and someone said that relationships sometimes get in the way of personal growth and for me, that has always been the case where I have felt held back by a boyfriend and I've always been happier to be single. I prefer to be physically alone rather than be with someone who wasn't right for me and made me feel emotionally lonely. It seems to me that this gentleman fits all your needs on paper but some reason it doesn't translate to real life and you're trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. If you're having all these difficulties in the first month, you really need to question whether it is worth it. There is a constant on this board that most people feel lonely without a partner. You may be physically alone but to feel emotionally lonely is your personal choice.

Feisty




Edited 12/25/2006 7:21 pm ET by feisty01
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 7:48pm
hi Feisty,
good advice. i'm not very good at fooling myself, and i do know that it should be easier than this.
i guess i have to be patient and hope the right person crosses my path.
thanks,
Neppi