What attracts you to a guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
What attracts you to a guy?
24
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:11pm

I realize now I was asking the wrong questions. Instead of talking about myself, I should have been asking about you all personally.

What attracted you to a guy when you were all young (teenagers and 20s)? I ask because I'm a 20 year old guy, and even though I'm very young, I realize there's a difference between a girl and a women. I've never had a girlfriend before now, but I think the kind of guy I am now would attract older women, but I have trouble attracting young girls. I don't know, I'm not confident or smooth or dangerous or exciting enough for girls my age.

So I'm asking you, what attracted you to a guy when you were 18-21? What did they specifically do and say that made you want to talk to them, date them, sleep with them, etc?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:22pm

When I was 18-21, it was mostly all about looks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:59pm

It depends on who you ask.

As Countrygrl related her response to herself, I can only relate my reply to me.

I wasn't (still am not) the typical 20's gal. I didn't sleep around in college. I dated two guys - both of whom I was friends with for a year or two before we decided to date.

Some gals go for the "bad asses" while some go for the "studious" or "nerdy" type. Some will go for anyone. The 20's are becoming an extension of the teens, believe it or not. These days, men and women are settling down later or saving their dating for later on.

Again, it comes back to finding who you are. I'm 24 and still am learning about myself. But I love myself and know my morals and that I have good things to offer in a relationship.

Dating people and making friends isn't about getting them to be interested in you. It's about you showing interest in them by asking about themselves. Everyone likes to talk about themselves to a point. Better yet - everyone likes it when a person of the opposite sex shows interest in a genuine way.

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 10:07pm

I'm the same as Pink, never was a typical college girl. However in college I was attracted to guys that were funny and made me feel comfortable...not like they were trying to sleep with me. Having someone to laugh with was usually what helped me start seeing a guy in a different light.

Around 21 I started to be attracted to guys that came across as confident and mature because I was lacking a little bit of social confidence and dealt with anxiety. I wanted someone who would take charge so I could just follow and relax.

Now that I'm in my mid-20's I'm just looking for a guy who's funny, grounded and intelligent. I stay away from the drunkards and playboys...lol, which is why I posted Slim Pickings earlier today.

What attracts a woman to a guy though varies based on her personality, what she's been through and the types she's dated previously. I think it's important to realize you can't change what you have to offer and you should just be you; once you find someone you'll be glad you did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 10:51pm
Do you want to have a relationship with a woman or are you purely after sex?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 11:10pm

>Do you want to have a relationship with a woman or are you purely after sex?<

I was going to ask the very same question!

What attracted me from ages 18 to early 20s: looks. That was mostly it. I didn't like bad boys but every girl is different. I didn't like bad boys because they all proved to be just plain dumb and I wanted someone who was cute but also smart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 1:38am

"Do you want to have a relationship with a woman or are you purely after sex?"

I'd be perfectly happy with both to be honest. I would not be disappointed at all with casual sex, but if I go down the route of a serious relationship, she has to be willing to have sex. I guess I didn't say that in my other thread.

My minimal requirements for a girl are 1) good looking 2) NOT a gold digger and 3) NOT a sexual prude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 5:00am

What attracted me to a guy when i was 18-20?

Long hair / handsome face / tight leather rocker outfit (think Joe Elliot of Def Leppard / Bon Jovi / Skid Row / Mötley Crüe in 1988-89) - then would come some percentage of his inner decency AND, most importantly, his general heavy metal attitude to life, if you know what i mean.

Now that i think of it, my preferences in men havent changed much at all since then, haha!

Rocklady

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 6:16am

Redonculous,

Your attitude to women and sex makes me so happy that I'm not in my 20's anymore. I think all you want to do is try and find out how you manipulate women into sleeping with you and I have no desire in helping you to do so. You're the type of guy that I successfully managed to avoid in my early twenties.

Over and out.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 3:41pm

>Your attitude to women and sex makes me so happy that I'm not in my 20's anymore. I think all you want to do is try and find out how you manipulate women into sleeping with you and I have no desire in helping you to do so. You're the type of guy that I successfully managed to avoid in my early twenties.<

I agree. I managed to avoid guys like this in my 20s for the most part because I wasn't pretty enough. Now I realize what a blessing that actually was. Because the guys who went out with me liked me because they liked ME.

To Redonculous: You can look up "Escorts" in the Yellow Pages and find lots of beautiful girls at your disposal.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 5:47pm
Funny, a quick wit, a certain amount of charm. Also, someone who could put me at ease. I was and continue to be rather shy upon first meeting someone. Good looks didn't hurt, but he had to have all of the aforesaid in order to get my attention.

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