I want to be with him so bad...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
I want to be with him so bad...
2
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 8:16pm
Hey Everyone, thanks for reading =)
I have a really great guy friend, who I have recently been starting to have romantic feelings for...
He and I have been getting very close and I feel very comfortable around him. We have had our seperate relationships with other people and have helped eachother through them.
I even admitted to him about a month ago that I had special feelings for him and he said that he was not interested in having a relationship right now.
Suprisingly, I wasn't upset, more relieved then anything, because then I felt that I should move on and keep the friendship strong.
The feelings were slowly deteriorating, until we spent the day together the other day. Being with him in person sparked that interest again! (we're both at seperate schools and mostly chat online)... The strange thing is, it was very flirtaceous from both of us and he actually seemed interested!
I'm a bit confused, I don't know if he actually likes me more then a friend, but just doesn't want to be in a relationship or if he has no romantic feelings at all.
I don't know what else I could do... I've already told him how I felt, should I try getting over him again? or should I continue with how things are now and see how they go?
I'd really appreciate any input you may have. Thank you!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 1:02am
If he's told you that he's not interested in being in a relationship, I would just try to be content with being his friend for now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 9:28pm

Many male/female friendships have problems like yours. we woman get close to a man and we often feel romantic. Goes with the closeness. We also have a lot in common with our male friends or they would not be our friends.

I have a friend, Jim, we have been friends for almost 14 years. I was so hot for this guy, we had the same spiritual inclinations, had similar friends, talked for hours on the phone. We had lots of flirtatious times and times of kissing in the car, sleeping in the same bed as friends, and at one time as lovers. He always said, we had to be friends or he'd lose me. There were some painful momentw with him. He is not great in relationships, had no kids. Now, even tho my heart can do a little clip clop when I see him, I honor and value the friendship. I know if it were more, it wouldn't work. He is not warm and generous enough for me. We made it thru the years and stayed friends. We are very good friends. I value it. We have a lot of history.

You could probably save yourself a lot of grief to remain friends and leave the romance for someone else. If he changes his mind, let it come from him. meanwhile, don't think about it. I know what you are going thru. Leila