Just a story...hope for the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Just a story...hope for the future.
6
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 12:48pm

I mean my life is straight out of a Sex and the City episode, but I've finally come to just let it all roll off and keep going. What else can you do, and there's no need to get all depressed about it. I'm 36, divorced 1.5 years. Since being "re-single" I have only been really attracted to one guy -- and that ended before it started. We met at a sports thing, few months later I asked him out, he said yes and we met at this event, talked there then went to dinner, I thought the conversation was good, he e-mailed the next morning to say he had a good time, wanted to do it again and would "advise (me) of (his) availability" (what?) for the future. I never heard from him.

Few months later I e-mailed for business-related reasons, he responded then said, "If there is anything else I can do please let me know." I responded and said something to the effect of, you know, there *is* something else you can do ... then as politely as possible I let him have it .. basically said if you had every intention of blowing me off then don't send an e-mail saying you'd like to go out again, for the crissakes. It just made me feel badly, and he was so hot I was just like this is *such* my luck.

Fast forward a number of months to last night, when I accompanied one of my "party girlfriends" to one heck of a bash. It was a "pimp and ho" party, where they guys dressed as pimps and the girls, wow, wore all sorts of things. First person I see at this wild event is him, wearing one of his trademark perfectly-tailored work suits and looking as fine as I recall. We say hi, my girl and I walk elsewhere then she soon starts talking with his friends, who he's with, so he and I chat. He starts telling me about his work -- which I thought was a bit egotistical - why do I want to hear this after you blew me off? But it was kind of funny because when we went out the first time I, too, was wearing a business suit, and now here I am literally wearing next to nothing - basically a fur coat, short skirt, and knee-high leather boots. We drift apart and I start dancing with this one hot girl and a lot of eyes are on us, including, possibly, his.

I get ready to leave, he and I pass one another, I say goodbye, he says something to the effect of hey I'm really sorry about before -- I was between relationships (whatever that means). I say goodbye, Peter, nice to see you.

I'm sure I will get him off my mind shortly, but today, unfortunaltey, he's on it. I just wanted to share this with the group, just because wouldn't it be cool if the guy you liked actually liked you back? What a neat thing that would be. All I can do is have hope for the future. Love fzz

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 2:06pm

wouldn't it be cool if the guy you liked actually liked you back?


Yeah, but wouldn't that get boring?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 6:56am

After your date when he said he'd advise you sounds a lot like "I'll call you." I used to get very hurt and frustrated when a man said this and then didn't call, but then I read somthing that changed that. Men really don't know what to say at the end of a date, especially if they didn't have a good time. I mean, how would it be if he said, "You're a nice person, but I really didn't enjoy your company and don't want to go out again. Have a nice life."

OK, I know it wouldn't have to be that harsh. But, if you can look at "I'll call you" as a neutral comment, a sign-off to a date, it might help. Don't expect him to call—really. If a guy is interested, he will call, period. Then it will be a pleasant surprise.

I'm thinking you probably shouldn't have gotten angry with him...hey, you're a gorgeous chick who doesn't have to wait around for HIS calls. You've got men lining up for you. I say make him jump for it. I think playing a little hard to get is underated in our culture.

Frankly, the guy sounds kind of like an a--hole, albeit an attractive one. Believe me, I understand the attraction.

If you haven't already, read Greg Berhrant's (sp?) book "He's Just Not That In To You." It's fabulous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:31pm

>>>...because wouldn't it be cool if the guy you liked actually liked you back?<<

only if the guy is actually worth it in the first place. Sounds to me like you could do better.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 12:38pm
I agree.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 10:42am
Thanks for the opinions, everyone! I think it's that guy's loss too! :) I've now moved on to thinking about another younger guy, but he has a girlfriend so okay, I'll just keep it in my head ... and hopefully in another two days there will be yet another guy to think about ... a *single* guy! You all are the best ... love fzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 1:32pm

I'm sure I will get him off my mind shortly, but today, unfortunaltey, he's on it."

LOL :O

"wouldn't it be cool if the guy you liked actually liked you back? What a neat thing that would be."

Story of my life :) I keep thinking why is it so damn hard? You think I'm cute. I think you're cute. We have lots in common, we're lonely so why not go for it? Instead he goes his own way, you go yours. You have a world of lonely people who are looking but not finding and very unhappy. Sometimes I wish I lived in the day where marriages were arranged so I wouldn't have to work so hard.

"All I can do is have hope for the future."
That's all we can do. Never lose hope.