For love or money? Who would you rath...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
For love or money? Who would you rath...
40
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 11:33am

For love or money? Who would you rather be with?



  • a man who I love deeply, but doesn't look good "on paper"
  • a man who looks good "on paper" yet I don't love deeply- I simply care for him


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 6:37am

Absolutely and 100% and without a slightest doubt: ALL FOR LOVE. Money? *I dont care about the money - money cant buy me LOVE* :)!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:34am


Rocklady, (wink)

To me, this is, to a point, a non-question, for lack of a better expression. I am amazed that some people actually chose money, or 'good on paper' over love. I thought it would be a unanimous 100% vote, honest. Money can buy a certain amount of comfort (and yes, cars houses clothes restaurants etc etc are in essense just that - a certain amount of comfort). I don't give a flying f about comfort if I am left to 'enjoy' (or rather, suffer) it with a person I do not love. End of story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:49am
To be honest, I don't know if I can vote for either one. I mean, what do you mean excatly by someone who does not look good on paper? Is he a high school drop out who can't hold onto a job and likes to smoke pot all day long? I don't think love alone can make that relationship work. I personally can't be with someone who looks great on paper but otherwise cold and boring. It has to be a combination and balance between the two, I think. So I choose c, a combination of the love and someone who looks semi good on paper. :-D
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:04am

<<<. I am amazed that some people actually chose money, or 'good on paper' over love>>>

Personally, I think it's naive to think that love is enough.

I'd far rather be with a rich man I can respect and care for than with a poor man who I may love passionately, but we can't make rent. Wouldn't take long for the love to die.

Why do you think money is the number one reason for divorce in the US?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:41am

"Is he a high school drop out who can't hold onto a job and likes to smoke pot all day long? I don't think love alone can make that relationship work."


LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:52am
Well that makes us two completely different people. I was not talking about a homeless beggar with a drug habbit and not a penny to his name. I merely meant being with someone who may not be very rich or successful and have a number of workable 'issues' yet treated you like you are the best thing that has happened to him and made you very happy; whom I would feel IT for - whatever you want to call it, love, lust, desire, all three combined. Yes, he must be able to pay his share of the rent; however, if I feel nothing but 'care and respect', I honesly seriously do not give a d*** how many millions cars and boats he has and how well he can provide for me. I sometimes imagine this scenario, just for the fun of it, because I know it will never ever happen with me - being with someone who can 'keep' you in great comfort; having this 6-houry beauty session in a salon all paid for by him followed by a 3 course meal in a 5 star restaurant all paid for by him all this time cringing and dying inside and thinking, omg, I have to go to bed with this person tonight. There is no such thing as free lunch. Of course, in Mills & Boons novels (am not sure if they or an equivalent exists in the US - cheesy 'romance' drivel along the lines of 'his deep brown eyes pierced her heart right in the middle' or some such thing), this gorgeous tall dark rich lawyer who is single and looking for a wife is an option. No so in real life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:57am


'...What the love vs. money means to me is, I'd rather be with a man I love who maybe doesn't make a ton of money, and maybe we won't be able to afford our own home, but as long as we have a roof over our heads, we will make it a happy home'

Totally agree with you Stacey. This is pretty much what I was trying to say in my reply to Sisfox, just phrased it differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:22pm

I think it comes down to the interpretation of the questions, too.

<<>>

Since the question said "care for", this perspective never crossed my mind. Going to bed with someone I "care for" as opposed to "love deeply" - well, it certainly wouldn't make my die and cringe inside. In fact, I've had both kinds of relationships, and found a different kind of fulfillment from both.

It's as easy to love a rich man as a poor man, so why accept poor? LOL

<<>>

Sounds like those cheesy Harlequine novels my mom's addicted to. I've read a few, and they've always infuriated me - WHAT is attractive about the overbearing men they all seem to feature? LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:57pm


'....Going to bed with someone I "care for" as opposed to "love deeply" - well, it certainly wouldn't make me die and cringe inside'..

Oh my goodness, this I find almost impossible to fathom. Are you seriously saying that you would be more than happy to be intimate with someone you feel absolutely no physical attraction for whatsoever, zero lust or desire for - that a feeling of respect and care, the sort that you may have for your father, or an old friend - would be enough? How is that possible? Please tell me - I must be some kind of a freak..

'...It's as easy to love a rich man as a poor man, so why accept poor? LOL'

I never wanted or needed 'rich', and never will. Therefore I have never looked for it. All I have ever wanted all my life is to feel IT, and as I said, in real life in 2007, it is either or. I choose poor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 1:25pm

<<>>

Why don't you re-read my ENTIRE post for comprehension before you try to impose some off the wall interpretation on selective parts of it?

<<>>

Goody. One less in the competition for the rich ones. LOL


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