How to say 'no'
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 01-31-2007 - 4:28pm |
I have been recently admonished by a coworker for accepting dates from all the wrong men - it's her theory that I am just way too nice and end up dating guys who are not right for me because I don't know how to say no.
I think she's right. At a networking thing a couple of weeks ago, a man much older than me asked me if I would ever like to have lunch with him. I was not interested in him at all, but said, "yeah, sure" anyway. In these situations, I always end up weasling out after the fact.
So, in the moment, how do you say "no" politely?
Some of this stems from my old-fashioned mother who told me to accept a date from any guy who offered when I was growing up, because "you just never know." At the time, though, all the guys asking were at least in my remote age range and I was nowhere near wanting to find a mate for life. Now, I'd rather go out with people who have that potential. Attraction is also a good start. So, help me learn how to say 'no' and stick to it. :)

Pages
Huh? What? Who? I don't understand.
Excuse me..I need to use the ladies' room.
(Weasley, I know, but it works!)
It's SO HARD to do.
Believe me, I know it's not very nice to weasle out later, that's why I asked for advice. I just had to do that with the guy in question, and he was very gracious about it and thanked me for my honesty, but I still feel like a schmuck.
I told him I was too busy with work and personal things for a relationship, which is really true right now. Yet, like biochic, if the right guy came along - I would make time.
Thanks for your advice, everyone. I just need to learn how to handle these awkward situations head on and not feel guilty for saying no.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
>> If you do not want to say "I am not interested", you may say, "I already have some one else in mind." <<
LOL (and, ouch). Yeah, I did - his friend who was also there that night.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I prefer the woman say "No thank you" PERIOD. I can understand it is hard but I value honesty. Don't you? I work on living my life by the Golden Rule, i.e. do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. I hear women all the time that they want honesty from men and in their relationships. Doesn't it mean in all situations?
Mark
Pages