Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
Confused
4
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:40pm

I've known this guy since high school, however we didn't really start talking to eachother on a romantic level until this past summer (I'm a college sophomore fyi). We both go to different universities, however they're within a 45min drive of eachother so it's not like we never get to hang out. Anyway, as I said we began talking back when fall semester started (about 5 months ago), and since then (despite one instance when we lost contact for awhile) we've gotten kind of close. He's come to visit me over the past few months and we talk everyday over the phone. The last time he came to visit, I grew tired of not knowing exactly where our relationship stood, so I asked him. His response was, "we're more than friends". Which is what I had been thinking all along, however knowing how guy's are with labels, I didn't press the issue. About a month ago (before his last visit) he asked me if I had a boyfriend, not wanting to have him think I thought of him as a bf, I told him "I'm keeping my options open". After he semi-answered my question about where our relationship stood I started thinking, do I really want to label what we have. Labels complicate things. I mean I don't want to run him off, yet I don't know how we'd be "together". I want things to progress to the next level, but then again I'm afraid to bring this up. So basically I'm torn between leaving things as they are (which is good), or actually taking the next step which could be better...or worse. And then there's always that small issue of being rejected...any advice?

~britt

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: missbritt432
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:41pm

My advice would be to give him a little bit more time. His response of "we're more than friends" sounds to me like he may not even know what he wants out of the relationship. However, he may be shy, may not know how you feel, may have been burned in the past, etc.

Give him one or two more months. If by then, he hasn't broken out the serious conversation, I would start seeing other people which, you may already be doing, except, I would find creative ways to let this information get back to this guy ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
In reply to: missbritt432
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 3:14am
Hey im in the same situation but its vice versa im a dude in your position.The girl im seeing dont want to label us because she says she dont want to rush.But i've known her for 13 years and we have had a relationship before.She said the same thing he said"were more than friends"If you wanna know where you and him stand ask him again.Sometimes if you wait too long and no change is made you can lose interest.Its not fun not knowing I say try to find out where you stand soon because there's a possibility that you could be wasting time if your looking for more with him and if he doesnt know what he wants out of a relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: missbritt432
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 4:16pm

Hello, welcome to the board!


Labels complicate things.


I think labels only complicate things when the persons involved have differing expectations as to what those labels mean to them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
In reply to: missbritt432
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 10:49am
Thanks everyone!