Sex with the Ex . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2007
Sex with the Ex . . .
2
Sat, 02-03-2007 - 7:15pm

Need some input - Let me have it, girls. My ex-fiancee broke it off and moved out (for the 2nd time) 18 months ago. We were together (off and on) for six years. After the break, we were still sleeping together once a month or so (late night visits and he'd sleep over) but we would still talk on the phone 4-5 times a week as if we'd never broke up. As of 2 months ago I stopped sleeping with him and he calls me now more than ever - Damn near every day, sometimes several times a day.

Most times I let him go to voicemail, and lately he's taken to dropping by after dinner. He hangs out, watches TV, we get takeout, but that's IT - Nothing more. We both live alone and it's nice to have company (and he helps out around the house, etc) but I feel like he's waiting for me to initiate sex, but I never do - And he leaves.

I know this isn't a healty relationship. We've both dated other people in the past (he's taken my phone call while on a DATE !) but surprise, surprise - Those relationships never quite work out ! (Wonder why, huh ?) And we always end up coming back to each other in this half-assed relationship.

So I guess I need to talk to him, right ? Tell him the "friends with benefits" program has expired ?? It just wasn't healty - As much as I was busy dating other guys and getting on with my life (and proving I can be just fine without him), there was still a part of me waiting for him to come back home. Still a part of me waiting for him to come to his senses, and we'd get married like we'd planned. I'm an idiot - I know this.

So what do I do ? What do i say ? I know the day is fast-approaching where he'll meet someone new, and I DON'T want to be around when that happens.

Thanks.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 02-03-2007 - 9:31pm
I think that you're already headed in the right direction by putting the skids on the physical relationship. You don't want to be the one left holding the proverbial bag. If you're okay with things the way they stand now, his coming over and all, I see no reason in having a talk. However, if you are staying at home in hopes of his coming over to hang out, you might want to be careful with that . . . you have to remember, he's not your boyfriend anymore, ya know? Leave your options wide open : ) Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 4:44pm

It's not going to be easy, but you need to just quit him, cold turkey.