Does appearance matter

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Does appearance matter
26
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:03pm
I know this question can sound cynical and become controversial, but as a single guy I've been thinking very much on how much a woman's appearance matters in her relationship status. I wish you all had pics posted. Because I see certain woman and tell myself she CAN'T be single, which bothers me since I hesitate to even try.
But some woman have told me that there are "attractive" woman who are single and lonely, because maybe they're insecure or have other problems . yes, no?
Kindly elaborate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:18pm
There are attactive women single by choice, or would rather date and live in their own house. look inside and see what surprises you see in women. Attractive can be just taking good care of oneself and how someone glows when you get to know them. look around at work and see how people you get to know start to look better in your eyes. leila
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 9:04pm

I think you half answered your own question. :) I'm going to sound full of myself here (I'm not, for the record :) ), but I consider myself a pretty cute girl, and I do get that sometimes, that guys are intimidated because they think I MUST be taken (a guy friend of mine has also told me this is often the case with guys), so hence, none of those guys approach me and it's a vicious cycle.

Then again, I do like being single and I'm definitely, DEFINITELY not going to rush being in a relationship. I like my life right now and I'm happy where I am. I'm not insecure (well, everyone has their things, but generally I'm pretty confident) or think I'm single because I have problems...being single is not an indication of being ugly or having issues, everyone's single at times and I think it's essential to a healthy social life, to build one's character, a lot of things.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 9:15pm

What do you mean by a woman's appearance matters in her relationship status?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:19am
I think that a lot of women do have insecurity issues. It's hard to watch TV or even buy a bra without seeing model types. Obviously, you have to find someone attractive to want to get to know them. I guarantee that no one wants someone who hasn't managed to find a comb in twenty years. I think I'm an attractive girl, but I know that if you put me next to Heidi Klum, I might not get a lot of attention. But in the end, I don't need every guy to think I'm beautiful, just the one guy that matters.

~Heather~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:36am

I go through what you said. I am attractive and single. I'm not approached because men are suprised that I am single. I also am very independent which I have been told is very scary to some men.
On the flip side, the men who do aproach me have the dumbest pick up lines and that is a huge turn off to me. I'm waiting for a man who isn't trying to pick me up, but instead wants to get to know who I am. (waiting and waiting and waiting LOL!!!)

Don't judge a book by it's cover!!

Amie Choiniere Office Manager~Mom~Domestic Goddess~Student~Wine Lover~Girlfriend~Gardener~Decorator~Vinyl Wall Lettering Queen!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 10:11am
Well, I'm a fairly visual person (I suspect more than many women), but to me it's all about what type you're attracted to. Conventionally good looking, model-type guys are first off probably out of my league, but besides that, they're boring. I like guys that just have something quirky or distinctive about them and I usually like cute, not hot, guys. If I see a kind of cute guy on the bus ride home or some other random place, if he takes those sunglasses off and has great eyes...well, that can just turn it around for me. :) It sounds goofy, but it's just what does it for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 11:09am
Well, it bothers me when people say "looks don't matter," but I agree that concentional good looks really don't matter. It's all in what you're attracted to, and physical attraction can be built from emotional or mental attraction, but there's no denying that when it comes to meeting people you and first impressions, looks HAVE to matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 3:11pm

Of course, that can also go both ways. I mean some men are just as shallow as some women!
Some men all they look for, is a woman that's pencil thin, that has big boobs, long hair and is a complete airhead! As long as she puts out and keeps her mouth shut...then it seems a man will date her.

However if she might have a curvy body or might even carry about couple of extra pounds, a guy is just so completely turned off.

I have to wonder, where did this country go wrong? Why are people so obessed with looks? I happen to believe there IS more to a person then just looks. Granted, yes you have to have a physcial attraction to the other person, no matter HOW GREAT their personality might be, if you want a relationship to work! However, looks shouldn't be the ONLY thing you look for when it comes to someone...

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 3:20pm

>>Some men all they look for, is a woman that's pencil thin, that has big boobs, long hair and is a complete airhead! As long as she puts out and keeps her mouth shut...then it seems a man will date her.

Ok, but what do we think about these men?? I wouldn't touch one with a 20 foot pole, even if he WOULD date me!

I don't think it's the whole country or even the majority...just the loud, obnoxious Hollywood types.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 3:37pm

I don't think it translates for the reason you said >>I see certain woman and tell myself she CAN'T be single, which bothers me since I hesitate to even try. <<

So many men feel this way. Or maybe not even for the reason you stated but the follow up which is that you don't even try. I understand that for men its difficult because women can be cold and give the brush off and the rejection and it gets to the point where you don't even try anymore. I was in NYC last week and I was shocked how many times I was checked out, beeped at, winked at, had one guy almost crash his car hanging out the window to shout to me, one older gentleman stopped me on the street and invited me inside for a drink. All of this and other than that older gentleman NO ONE will even try to talk to me. I know its not because I'm unattractive (I'm not a supermodel either) but most times I can walk into a bar and stand naked on the bar pouring free shots and no one would even notice I was there. My ex-boyfriend is always telling me how beautiful I am and how guys must be falling all over themselves to get to me and I'm like "um....nope, none"

So you tell me....is attractiveness a parallel to relationship status?

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