Am I being unfair?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2006
Am I being unfair?!?
1
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 10:59pm
OK....please help me out here. I dated someone for 4 months this spring. He met my friends/neighbors who are married. My ex-boyfriend thought the husband in the couple could be annoying but tolerated him since I am close friends with them. They saw him maybe 4-5 times and my ex took the husband of the couple on a golf day for work once. Fast forward to the jerk dumping me in an EMAIL, then calling and saying he wants to be friends. Of course, the couple (my friends) listened and supported me at the time of the breakup etc. Now, the husband has called my ex to play golf!!! I was sort of horrified. I know you can't dictate who people can be friends with, but it hurt me that he didn't even ask me if I was ok with that. My ex said no, and I don't think he has much interest in seeing them again anyway so maybe it'll be a non-issue. But now I feel like I won't be introducing them to anyone I date again! Am I being immature and unreasonable, or is it a little odd for the friend to pursue my ex as a friend? If my ex asks (we are officially "friends" although I have to say that isnt working out but that;s another post!) should I admit it bothers me and I don't want them hanging out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 4:52am
first of all, i can totally sympathize with you on being "dumped" via email... but i think worst of is when their idea of breaking up w/ you is to stop calling and stop answering you calls.
now, as far as your neighbor wanting to hang out w/ you ex- i personally would have been offended, so youre not alone there. especially since he didnt ask how you felt about that. however, i do also agree that people have the right to be friends w/ whom they choose.
it might be a little unfair for you to try to dictate if your friends can be buddies w/ your exes, but you have to remember, what happened between you and your es has nothing to do w/ your friends and your exes.