friends no more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
friends no more?
3
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 12:19am
Hi. I have a question about "friends". I have a friend and recently I told her that I liked her. Well, she didn't take it the way I would have wanted. The person that convinced me to go ahead and tell her told me that she was in the same scenario with a guy and it worked out. Now, of course I'm a guy, so I understand totally the guy dating his "female friend" thing. Before I continue I should let you know that we both worked together and she recently quit. Although I didn't ask her directly, she just said she was having problems. I took her leaving as a sign that she doesn't want to be around me.? Is that right.? she tried to quit before and she had to come back, but at that time she told me where she was going to work and that I could come and see her if I wanted. I just thought she was being nice. But, I didn't ask where she was going, only if she was leaving. She told me of her own free will. Right before she left I asked her the name of the place again and her face got really red. So, I guess one question is, if you didn't like someone, would you still blush like that? Oh yeah, I tried to talk to someone else, that said that would talk to her for me (cause I was worried) mind you this person does talk to her and myself. I have yet to hear anything more about it. I'm assuming she didn't talk to her,. so um, was that a good idea? without saying too much more, is it really possible for a man a woman to still be friends after something like this? From my past experiences it has always ended the friendship, but thats not what I want.. any advice?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: masun
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 10:47am

I don't think you can draw any conclusions based on what you've told us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
In reply to: masun
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 10:42pm
Yeah, you are right. Still a part of me wants to believe that things aren't what they seem to be. I do want to be clear that I did talk to her myself. But later on I started to get the impression that she didn't want to be around me. I didn't want the friend to tell her I liked her, actually, I was looking for conformation if my hunch was true or not. I tend to think negatively in situations like these. As for my age, I am 29. I can only say that I haven't dated alot, I really haven't had the best circumstances for having relations with women in my current living situation. Lets just leave it at that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
In reply to: masun
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 10:24am
Yeah, I agree with Shy and I'm really confused about what was going on in your post anyway, so all I can say is that in my experience (and based on my own feelings and those of other women I know), once I'm friends with a guy, I just can't think of him in a romantic way. I suppose if I'd been attracted to the guy all along and one of us had recently gotten out of a relationship, that'd be different, but other than that...but Ithink even though things between you might be awkward for a while, if you were truly friends before, they can bounce back.